7 year old child is out of control

[Brig1975]

My 7 year old daughter is out of control, she does not listen to what she has been told to do, constantly talking back mimicing me, trying to get her sibling to do stuff that is not right. Lying giving me a hard time about everything, when is told to something she says "NO" or if she is told "NO" that she can't do something then she constantly bugs to do it and has a fit. Takes off in stores, ahe will not do her punishment for mis-behaviour like go to her room after school until dinner. She has no remorse for mis behaving. This has been a battle since she was 2 yrs old. I don't know what to do anymore, she knows what buttons to push to upset me.Does not listen to instructions, if asked to do something she will do the opposite or do what she wants, taking stuff away does not work.She is constantly arguing with me about everything. Please give me some suggestions.

Brig 1975

[nickjeans]

I read your post and it struck a cord with me.  My son is currently 7 and he's not on medication but has similar outbursts, along with his caring/awesome side.  I was wondering what you have done over the past few years to help your child?  Looking for some advice right now (my son is beginning to amp up the tantrums and volatility, especially at school).  Thanks for taking the time to read my post. Best, Nicole

[Misskitty951]

I'm the grandmother and it's harder to be me and watch my son try to handle his 7 yr old daughter when she's being rude and out of control. I see from an outsider that the child stays up too late on school nights and then she will not stop her bad behavior and people give in rather than deal with her acting poorly. So she gets her way that way.  She has all the grown ups trained to give her what she wants. It's ruining her.  Whatever you parents do, if it's not working stop doing it.  Time to figure out what will work.

[Sandman2]

   There are several reasons why spanking does not work for many kids - and you have found one.
   You didn't mention his age and how you deal with discipline is somewhat dependent on age.
   but, without knowing more - a book I recommend a lot is - "SOS Help for Parents," by Lynn Clark  
   It will help!

[chichigirl77]

Hi. I know this was about 5 years ago so not sure how you have gotten on with your son but have you considered having him assessed by a professional? A lot of the behaviours expressed here on this forum are pointing to possible disorders like oppositional defiance disorder. It's best to get your child assessed to rule out any possible mental, behavioural or personality disorder. Good luck.

[Sandman2]

   You might also work on giving him other ways to express himself.  
      The book "Hands are not for Hitting", or "When I fee angry" are aimed at this age group.  They are meant to be read to them.  They give you common ground for discussions, and things to practice.   They can be found here -   http://www.amazon.com/Hands-Hitting-Ages-Best-Behavior/dp/1575420775
      And the problem with spanking (among other things) is that it is something that you hesitate to use.   Yet, to change a childs behavior, you need immediate action and consistent action.  Usually, (hopefully) this can not be done with spanking.   Buy the book, "SOS Help for Parents," by Lynn Clark.  It will give you a system that will work.

[Moiaussie]

Spanking should NEVER be done when a parent is yelling or expressing anger. It won't work. Only if you are calm does it work. The kid realizes that their behaviour isn't controlling your emotions and that you have calmly decided their behaviour merits a spanking. THAT gets their attention.