11 yr. old with behavior problems

[Noworries82]

My 11 year old son who Ive been told is the smartest kid in the school district has severe behavior issues. Ive had problems with him since preschool. He is extreamly and overly smart. Hes in 5th grade but is in an honors class and does work that stumps my husband and I. But he is in trouble constantly. Hes a bully at home and in school, has no respect for anyone, doesnt follow simpke rules and just has a horrible mouth. Hes been in the same school district since preschool and I have a huuuge stack of referrals, suspensions and warning. At this time the principal is so fed up with him that now she just sends him home when he acts up. I feel like ive tried everything and have reached out to evdryone. My husband and I are very hands on parents and did not raise him this way. He was diagnosed with ADHD but I feel its wrong. He has no problems focusing or paying attention. His grades are a mothers dream. I could go on and on about all of the awards he won but thats obviously not the issue. Im so at a loss. I love him more than anything but I know he can be the smartest person in the world and his behavior can just ruin everything. Any advice is welcome!! Xoxo

[Sandman2]

       Intelligence does not preclude having ADHD.  Albert Einstein is just one of many highly intelligent people who were thought to have had ADHD.  Intelligence just means that you will do well in school until you hit the point where you can't.  That happens for some people about the time Algebra hits.  For others, it may not happen until Calculus.  You probably should take a look at other symptoms of ADHD.  This is a very good site for that.
     http://www.rxlist.com/attention_deficit_hyperactivity_disorder_adhd/article.htm#tocc
   and this article deals with the gifted student with ADHD.
    http://www.ncpamd.com/Gifted_ADD.htm
     Obviously the school has tried to discipline him.  And you say that you have tried everything.  So I kind of question if lack of discipline is the problem.  The problem is that if he really does have ADHD, then the normal modes of discipline do not  work.  I don't know how long ago the ADHD diagnosis was made or the doctor that made it.  But given the situation, I would find either a pediatric psychiatrist or psychologist that specializes in ADHD and get another opinion.  Then I would get counseling from them on how to work with your son - if he does have ADHD.  If he does not have it, then they also should be able to help you.
    Finally, there are books like  "The ADD/ ADHD Answer book," by Susan Ashley, which give many ways to help the child.  And this site also gives some pretty good parenting tips.    http://www.rxlist.com/tips_for_parenting_a_child_with_adhd/page3.htm#rewards
   Hope this helps.  I also post on the ADHD forum if you ever have any other questions.  Best wishes.

[allmymarbles]

Your child is ill-behaved. It does not matter if he is brilliant or dim. He is ill-behaved and that is where your focus should be. Academic ability is a gift; behavior is character.

More information is needed about your son, you and his father, and the home environment. For instance you do not mention if he has siblings, and, if so, how he gets along with them. Nor do you mention what steps you have taken to train him to be obedient. Children are clever. I suspect that your son relies on his academic accomplishments to escape the discipline he so desperately needs.