8 Yr old and accidents

[fsugator96]

For 32 years I have never posted a thing on the internet....but here I am...My daughter is 2 months shy of 8 years old and we still have the issue of pooping in her panties and pants. She has been to the doctors, specialists and both have determined nothing is wrong.  They have enlarged her intestines and still see no issue.  Miralax was what we were told to use but being on Miralax for 6+ years doesn't seem right so we didn't follow with that. She doesn't get spanked by me or her step dad because she is already embarrassed and going poop is extremely painful for her...but her father does spank her. The poop that does come out is the size of a grapefruit, solid and she is almost 8yrs old and less than 40 lbs....i think childbirth is a good comparison to what her pain is like each time she finally goes. I find her wearing her soiled panties all day long at school (and she has clean pairs with her in her book bag) but never changes herself and i know the kids can smell her. We've all had the multiple talks, from mom, dad, step mom and step dad, grandparents, uncles, doctors, etc. The same answer is given each time...a shrugged shoulder and the words "i don't know".  I have been giving her enemas for a while now and she screams each time. I have threatened her with a diaper and she chooses the painful enema and diaper instead of sitting on the toilet to poop. We do regularly scheduled potty breaks during the day, she has missed playtime with friends because she is "plugged up", she has to hand wash her dirty clothes before putting them in the washing machine. When she does go, she runs out and says mommy are you proud of me?? What am I suppose to say to that???!! Yes baby girl, I'm proud that you finally released toxins in your body that EVERYONE does??  I am out of things to do :(  I have placed a call to her doctors office and have asked for a referral for her to talk to someone else, psychologist. I won't give up on her because she is too young to realize the complications this could/will have on her. She was born early (29 1/2 weeks) but has never had a medical complication except a collapsed lung within her first minute of life...and recovered within minutes. She is very intelligent, has been invited into the gifted program at school....so she gets it. Any suggestions or help would be appreciated. I can't stay home everyday crying because I know my little girl (who has the biggest and kindest heart) is being made fun of for 7 hours everyday at school.

[Sandman2]

      ok, sent you 3 long private messages with the file on fecal retention.

[Sandman2]

     Boy, do I agree with Rockrose.  Your daughter is constipated.  It hurts like hell for her to go - and she gets punished by her father.   The doctors don't see a problem because normally a change in diet will fix the situation.  Although, its pretty bad doctoring to only suggest miralax when there are so many other things to try.  There are small pills called stool softners that come to mind.  Most people take them after surgery to make life easier.  The link that Rockrose sent is also good.  I will try and send you a pdf file on fical retention that covers a lot of material.  Hopefully, I can do it through the message system.  If not I'll just copy it into here or there.

[RockRose]

You should have taken the advice of the doctor and put her on miralax or metamucil,  IMHO.

It seems pretty clear that she has constipation and extremely painful bowel movements,  caused by something - maybe lack of cilia in her colon,  lack of muscle control,  don't know.

Considering how extreme this is for her,  it's hard to think that miralax would be too extreme a remedy.

Is she already on a high-fiber diet?  Here's a link to 5 foods to eat and 5 foods to avoid for constipation:

http://www.medicinenet.com/constipation_foods_5_foods_to_avoid_and_5_to_eat/views.htm