Advice needed please!

[Stessedoutmommy]

My son just turned 6 years old in July. He is entering the 1st grade this fall. He is a very bright boy. He was tested in school last year and he is reading 3rd grade level, math at 2nd grade, and is unable to quit talking. He accomplishes all his tasks easily and without distraction most of the time. BUT he talks all the time, about everything approriate and not. He needs to be the center of attention, needs to have the last word, and is a major story teller. Last year in Kindergarten he was in trouble almost daily for interupting and wasting class time. He is 53" tall and 95 pounds. So the biggest in his class, which leads to recess issues as well. He doesn't know his size or strength and therefore would play much rougher than the others. Over the summer we have worked deligently at trying to get him to understand "quiet time- no talking time- not interupting- and playing gentle". However, I think it is worse now. All I can see is constant problems in school this coming year, and I am at my witts end. How do I help him? What else can I do?

[RockRose]

I agree with specialmom,  but I would also consider wrestling,  not just karate.  Boys just LOVE to wrestle,  and there he'll be put in his weight class,  not his age,  so being "too rough" isn't a problem.  We were in a wrestling group here for a year and I was amazed at what gusto the younger ones take to the mat.  I mean,  they could wrestle FOREVER!  It just comes naturally to them.  

[Sandman2]

   Very good points by specialmom.  Let me add that I have found that smart kids tend to quickly figure out what works and doesn't and adapt.  If he has the right teacher - things may be a little rocky at the start, but I'm guessing he will adapt.  If he has a wishy washy teacher, he will wind up ruling the class and in a lot of trouble.  Hopefully the principal was aware of all of this when classes were assigned.  But just in case - you should find out about the first grade teachers and if one seems to be a great fit - make sure the principal knows your feelings before the class lists go up!
    There is also a book called "share and take turns learning"  from the learning to get along series, that might be worth checking out.  You can find it here - http://www.amazon.com/Share-Take-Turns-Learning-Along/dp/1575421240/ref=pd_sim_b_4
      Finally, kids do need to be taught how to play. Its not something that is instinctive.  If you are bigger, you can hurt other kids without meaning to do so.  Until somebody takes the time to show him repeatedly how to play, this could take some time.   For this, something like Karate could be very helpful.

[specialmom]

Hi there.  Well, I'm glad your son is doing so well in so many ways.  It is great that he enjoys school and his academic achievements are so impressive.  I agree, however, that he will have to learn impulse control and proper behavior in school along with working on his social skills.  I'm not just saying this for his future teacher's sake but for his own social experience.  Kids in the first grade are often rule followers and his classmates WILL get annoyed with him if he is disruptive.  They are going to let him know that they would like him to talk less, be less overbearing and allow them to listen and learn as they are suppose to be doing.  Does he care about peer complaints?  

My son has sensory issues.  He can talk too loud, stand too close, interrupt, etc.  We worked hard on overcoming these things.  We talked a LOT about being a good friend.  Part of being a good friend is learning the 'rules' of conversation.  This means giving others turns in talking.  You don't want to 'bump' words for example.  I'd tell my son that his friends also wanted to talk and in order to be a GOOD friend, he needed to give them the chance to do it.  I would not allow him to be the 'authority' at home or have the last word.  Practice conversation at home.  I also got a book called a 'social story' which are often used in autism but my son really liked it-----------  it was about talking in school.  It showed pictures of the other kids in class as being mad when someone was talking while the teacher was talking.  They wanted to listen.  Be a good friend and let your friend's listen to the teacher.  I got the book on ebay and they have many of these types of things there.  So really work on this.  I'd suggest some more playdates at YOUR house in which you supervise.  You work on his issues right then and there with him and his friends.  If he isn't giving his friend a chance to talk-----------  YOU stop him and make him do this until it becomes a habit.  He needs to be aware of how others (his friends and teachers) see him and make efforts to be a good friend.

I'd sign him up for karate.  They are big on discipline---------- self discipline.  Learning self control and respect is part of their program as well as the physical conditioning.

Speaking of which, I'd give him plenty of physical outlets outside of school.  This always helps with behavior.  

I have two boys.  My boy with sensory has that neurological impulse to wrestle.  I give him ways to get that senstaion without actually wrestling with his friends or brother. Then he has a hands off rule regarding friends.  He has to give them their space.  There are ways to illustrate this if your son is not getting it.  Most kids by first grade do---------  so, hopefully your son is.  If you need ideas to illustrate personal space, let me know.

It will be alright.  Talk to his teacher ahead of time and let her know of his various issues ----  which all kids have.  Some would say he is just bored but being bored doesn't cause us to play rough and be unable to control ourselves in class.  So, work continue to work on these issues to resolve them.  good luck