Behavior of 10 mos. old boy

[Jeni_Spann]

Im a first time mom and i don't have any idea what to expect to my 10 months old son with his behavior. He scream a lot. He is throwing himself back if i don't give what he want. It seems to me he has temper. Is this normal for the baby?

Thank you.
Jeni

[Julie359]

Very different appraoches, but what i am trying to get across is you start as you mean to go on, this type of discipline is simply ignoring his tantrums an praising the positive behaviour.  Some mums engage in this negative behaviour and find that they get into a vicious circle that preceeds throughout the childs upbringing.  This is often the reason as to why mums end up at the end of their teather and can't cope.  They end up with children who they can't control.....

These are the techniques that both Parenting classes and Psychologists teach and having experience in this field these techniques have a long lasting positive effect when put into action.  You dont have to take any of my advice but im positive it is effective and will hold its weight in Gold in the present and future..... Good-luck  

[myenzoorka]

My soon-to-be 10 month old throws herself backward, too - not while she's upset, but while she's happy.  Occasionally, she does it to let me know she wants to nurse.  Usually, though, I have found that she's just enjoying the sensation - much like the way small children love to be swung around or going down a hill in a car.  It's a riskier type of movement that is exhilarating for children that young.  I often let my daughter flip backwards, while holding on to her, when she throws herself back and she loves it.  Unfortunately, because it's a new feeling, some children incorporate it into their screaming routines.  It doesn't necessarily mean that the tantrum is any worse, in fact, your son could be doing it while screaming to try to help make himself feel better.  

I am not of the belief that a 10 month old should be disciplined for a temper tantrum.  Babies cry and scream because they have no other way of communicating what they want.  And at 10 months, he's still a baby.  When he has a temper tantrum, you need to stay calm so he can see that whatever is bothering him is not the end of the world.  Give him something else to focus on - if he wants to play with the knife you're using for dinner, give him a cup to play with or some of the food to munch on.  Be sure to verbalize everything for him - tell him he can't have the knife because it will hurt him but the cup is safe to play with.  Or if he's wanting to play with a glass knickknack, move him to another room and offer him toys.  Babies have a short attention span for good reason.  But at this age, disciplining him for trying to tell you what he wants or needs can backfire.  

[Julie359]

He is doing this because he has learn't that when he screams and throws back his head in a temper if he does this for long enough he gets what he wants.  

No child is born with these behaviours, it is learn't and as it is a learn't behaviour it can be unlearn't and a new more positive behaviour can replace it, so this is the good news.  I fully understand that your proberly tired and just want things to go smoothly but if you continue to let him have his own way then he will grow up being a nightmare for you, he will never listen to what you have to say and more than likely have little respect for other adults.  So nip this in the bud right now.

My advice would be that when he starts to scream you DO NOT give him what ever he is screaming over, also do not engage in any conversation when he does this, simply walk away or stand to one side and turn your back so that he can see that when he starts to behave in this manner he gets NO attention what so ever.  Now in the beginning the screaming will worsen as he will not understand why his demands are not being met and willscream even louder and longer to get his own way and you may feel like pulling out your hair but PLEASE DO NOT give in as TRUST me he WILL start to realise that his behaviour is not going to get him what he wants.  The time frame of him screaming will lessen the more you do this.

Then the important part is to make sure that after he stops screaming you turn around with a big smile on your face and say something like 'good boy you stopped crying, now mummy will give you a big kiss' and then start to engage with him again.  This will reinforce that when he screams he gets nothing from you but when he behaves he gets posivitve behaviour.

Seeing as he is so young and can not talk this is how he is telling you he is not happy.... of course you know the difference between different crys, like his hungry cry, his tired cry or his dirty bottom cry  but if your not sure its always first priority to check all of these to make sure it isn't a basic human need.  Plus when turning your back please make sure he is always safe an secure and can't hurt himself.... if he does this for example on the changing table then simply carry on changing his bottom but donot engage in argumental converstaion with him, just change his bottom in silence, while he screams, then as soon as it is safe to do so put him somewhere until he stops then give him praise and positive attention.  

Also this is important to let other family members know what your doing and explain it to them so they can do the same as well, so the message will become even clearer to him.

Children are most happiest when they have adults who show firm but fair discipline in their lives and who show they are boss.  Also when he is being difficult try not to shout at him, at this stage it is best to ignore and praise when he is being compliant.

Hope this has been of some help..... being a first time mum is so difficult trying to work it all out, but you do get there i promise.  Godd-luck and if you need any other advice just inbox me.... :0)