Child Behavior Community
Boys kissing boys at eight years of age!
About This Community:

This patient support community is for discussions relating to child behavior, discipline (behavior management), parent-child communications, and social development.

Font Size:
A
A
A
Background:
Blank
Blank
Blank
Blank Blank

Boys kissing boys at eight years of age!

I found my son kissing his best friend (boy) who is also eight years old in the bathroom. After talking individualy to them, they both told me the same story. The other boy started, but then my son was also letting this to happen. Should I be concerned? I've always notice that the other boy likes to be touching o lot, I don't like that behavior, but I don't want to be mean about it.

Can somebody please help me?
Tags: help, boys, boys kissing boys
Related Discussions
15 Comments Post a Comment
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Sometimes kids try things , dont mean that it may be a problem in the long run. I think maybe you should wartch him for a while, dont make a big deal about it, your son is your son no matter what he does. He has to answer to god in the end. When he is old enough explain the bible to him but let him know that no matter what you still love him. In todays world our kids see so much so young. They want to try things, that they see, but boys did it so dont try to put the blame on the other boy, that is where we as parents make mistakes when it comes to our children.
Let your son know how much you love him, and dont talk about it any more to him. Let him be him. As a mother , you know! LOVE
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
Your son is growing up. He's experimenting and discovering who he is. Let him unfold at his own pace, in his own direction.  Be warm and welcoming for him and keep the communication channel open. I have 2 baby boys - they can be who ever they choose.  xx kitty
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
I don't agree with your statements.."He has to answer to god" and "read him the bible". These are young boys we are talking about. Not your discrimination of being gay or not, and how god plays a role in this. Leave religion out of it!!! I have 3 younger brothers and they all did the same things. ALL kids experiment..BOTH GIRLS AND BOYS!!! I remember playing around with my friends just as much as I know my brothers did. I went to church every Sunday and was bored stiff. Reading what the bible says is not gonna help.The bible is meant to gain spiritual insight, not to throw down and tell and 8yr old God doesn't like gays. God made everyone in this world whether gay, straight, criminal, or not Most kids at that age don't want anything to do with church, god, or listening to parents talk about things they don't care about.

Kids are always going to experiment...thats how most kids realize they like girls, or boys. Making a big deal over something so simple will make the child be afraid to tell mom or dad things. Being told he's in trouble for kissing his friend confuses kids. Makes them not want to talk about those things because they have already been told its wrong. Watch from the sidelines, if theres really something going on and its bothering you then sit down and have an honest conversation about it. Don't get mad or angry because at this age they already know whether they can talk to parents and trust them. kids begin to lie to protect themselves from getting into trouble from parents.

Just my opinion though. I have a brother who came out gay last year. It was the best decision he has ever made. The walls he built up around him have come down. He's finally true to himself and is so much happier. As I said before our family went to church every sunday. My parents are devoted catholics. But did that stop them from reaching out to my brother? not at all. They love him and accept him just as well as the rest of my siblings have. Being a true Christian is loving people no matter what. Have an open mind...
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
I didnt say God dont like gays, i have close family members who are gay. I am speaking as a mother, I know you are a step mom but a mother lives with the decision a child makes. The bible does state that this is wrong. But I didnt say judge the CHILD. Kidsn do things but a a parent we are to direct our children in the way of the LORD. If i children choose another, still love them, let them me who they are.. But just give them the information. He is eight, the media have exposed ourn kids to a world that used to be kept for adults, now we as parents no longer have a much control over what i children sometimes see.
I think she can explain rigth from wrong, than let he grow into who ever he is. Still love him, that is what mothers do. When you become a mother maybe you will understand! But I do agree with some things you stated
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
Well - there's always the possibility that God is just an illusion caused by a glitch in the human brain. Be a shame to lay a heavy on the kid just because we've got glitchy software up top.

As a mother, I hope that my boys are safe and loved in their relationships. Not whether their partner has an in-ie or an out-ie.  xx kitty

ps - the correct grammar is "I didn't say God DOESN'T exist", not "I didn't say God DON'T exist". There's a 50 IQ point gap between the two.
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
I can understand your worry, but would it be souch a bad thing if your son where to be gay. Would you want your son to hind it from you because he thinks that you would be ashamed, or angry! He's 8 years of age his sexual disires havent even began to develop, as in one of the statements above children see to much to young, but there is nothing wrong with experimenting with the same sex of opposite. He will grow to no his own sexuality, trying to smoother him with the bible and 'words' from 'god' will not help but possibly make things worse. Try to take a step back and let your son figure him self out on his own terms and in his own time, just let him no you love him for WHOMEVER he is.  
Blank
Avatar_m_tn
What you forget is our view of society is not necessarily the view of children. What you may see as homosexual behaviour maybe your sons way of showing affection to those people he values. I wouldn't make anything of it, but if you are concerned about it, talk to him about what is acceptable and what isn't.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Don't pull the MOM card it gets old really fast.
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
I do not really think that you have anything to worry about. Children experiment ... I do however think how it is handled makes a bigger difference.

giving fear, disgust or making it bigger then it was should be avoided.

questioning them on how it happened makes sense. Then sit them down together and discuss what happened and concerns.

At age 9 my daughter and her friend were in her room and they were quiet so I checked on them.. I was shocked because I saw them masturbating. At first my reaction was "her friend is going home, now!" then I spoke to each one separately the story was the same and then I spoke to them together about "its completely normal to be curious about your body.....etc....." But I also made it understood this was something done in private not with girlfriends.

It opened a great conversation in which they were comfortable with.

how you handle it can make or break communication in the future for such topics..

I do not think there is a need to jump to a conclusion that this boy is gay. I think informing your child on the birds and the bee's may be a way to help your child make appropriate choices while he experiments.

Blank
Avatar_n_tn
its perfectly natural for this to happen. i remember as a young boy practicing french kissing with another boy at our babysitters. it went on for months. we would go out to the lawnmower shed and practice french kissing for 15-20 minutes at a time. in fact he would tell the other girls at the babysitters to leave the shed because we were trying to hide in there. when we were really just practicing french kissing.
Blank
603946_tn?1333945439
I have one of the most respectful obedient children in my household. When he has offended God, I most certainly will have him get straight with God and anyone he has shown unacceptable behavior towards.
Try living with no accountability to this "mind glitch God" and see how respectful and obedient your child is at the end of the day.
Age eight issssssss IS IS old enough to have a fully developed conscience.
You don't have to be Christian or Jewish to believe homosexuality is unnatural- it just plain is- if my child is- that will be his cross to bear and I will love him- what is love for Christians? Getting our children to heaven is our highest form of love....I will tell my child homosexuality is deviant behavior and if it is hard for him to adjust to- he will learn to deal with it like anyone that acts deviant.
By your standards a wife beater should be able to beat his wife because it is a feeling he cannot control?

The bible is a guide for us that want to get out children to a heaven we believe in- you maam are stepping over the line asking us not to discuss our views here- this is a forum and these are suggestions WE did or would try when given the same circumstances......
Blank
Avatar_m_tn
People can control their anger. Being gay isn't something you can control. Trying to equate the two is just plain stupid and ignorant. Being gay isn't deviant behavior, just because its not normal for you doesn't mean its not normal for everyone. You don't get to pick who you love, thats the way love works.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
I nannied for a 5-year-old who was absolutely sure of his orientation, so a frank conversation about his future goals, such as what he sees for himself in the future, can offer a lot of insight toward your son's natural orientation. For example, does he ever mention being married one day?  Having a wife?  Don't be afraid to be curious as kids love to talk about their dreams!  :)
Blank
Avatar_m_tn
I tip my hat to you kittykatty.
Blank
973741_tn?1342346373
This is an old post.  But kids at 8 shouldn't be kissing anyone in a romantic, mature way---  same sex or not.  And if they are, a parent needs to step in and redirect.  good luck
Blank
Post a Comment
To
Blank
Weight Tracker
Weight Tracker
Start Tracking Now
Child Behavior Community Resources
RSS Expert Activity
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
Emotional Eating Control: How to St...
Aug 28 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
233488_tn?1310696703
Blank
New Cannabis Article from NORTH Mag...
Jul 20 by John C Hagan III, MD, FACS, FAAOBlank
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
3 Reasons Why You are Still Binge E...
Jul 14 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
Top Children's Health Answerers
134578_tn?1404951303
Blank
AnnieBrooke
OR
13167_tn?1327197724
Blank
RockRose
Austin, TX
973741_tn?1342346373
Blank
specialmom
757137_tn?1347200053
Blank
allmymarbles
NJ
Avatar_m_tn
Blank
Sandman2
San Pedro, CA
480448_tn?1403547723
Blank
nursegirl6572
PA