Transition to new pre-school

[sandy_7]

My son is 3-1/2 yrs old. He has been going to a home-daycare since he was 7 mths. After he turned 3, we put him to a pre-school. It was very bad in the beginning. He used to cry the whole day and after couple of days he started to sit at the corner of the class. Things improved later on after discussions with teacher but I guess the damage was done.
The most crucial thing that went wrong here was his teacher. She was so dry and cold. First 2 days she was okay, she used to greet us when we walk in. But then it turned like its my duty to settle my son in class and leave, which never used to happen because he used to cry and cling to me. Then I have to tell her to please come and help me out.
I would take some blame for not doing a good job of easing him to this new environment. I did take him to pre-school couple of times before first day. On first day also I spent some time with in the school befor saying bye. But I guess that was not enough.
Also I noticed that when this teacher was absent and some other teacher was in the class my son did a lot better. he started talking to people and playing and even had his lunch.
So I spoke to director of the preschool about these concerns and then we had a meeting with teacher. We asked her to be a little more open and affectionate during the first 5 minutes that we walk into the class. That change itself made a lot of difference. After that the crying stopped, although very reluctantly he used to walk into his class and sit along with other kids. His teacher had to litearlly pull him from me but still the sad time was only for 4-5 minutes. And then all of a sudden he was into a new class with new teacher. Then a new transition started.Things are better but not normal. Even after 6 mths he still clings and cries when I drop him to school.
He doesn't like to talk about school. I try to ask him what he did at school, what is the color of his chair, did he play, color etc.. he replies to some and then just changes the topic. He acts very difficult at mornings ( to brsuh his teeth, dress up). I try to console him by saying that hew will be at achool for sometime and  that his dad wil pick him up after his nap-time. Talking him to like that helps a littel but then he says that he doesn't like school and wants to stay at home. I console him again  he agrees we get into car and then as soon as we reach the class he clings to me . Same routime everyday! Another thing I noticed is he doesn't like to walk into a group. Even when we have gathering at home with close friends, I've observed that when its at our home or when we are one of the first people to join the group, my son gels in pretty fast. But if we join in later and if by then his friends are all there, then he won't go to them. He will start clinging to me. I think this anxiety to join a group of kids is a factor in his adjustment to school.

I'm planning to change his school as I'm really not happy with the support I'm getting from teachers and staff. Also I'm planning to go from Full-time to Part-time so that I can pick him up a little early.
We have registered at montessori school.  Please help me on how I can make transition to new school better than previous one. I am aware that there will be challenges ,but I want some guidance so I don't repeat the same mistakes..

[margypops]

This littl;e boy sounds very unhappy , could you not have him with you more ,,he has been in the care of others since he was a baby through all the formative times,I feel so sorry, he is simply needing more care and attention,if he wont even talk about school he doesnt like it .I see you do say you are going part time that would be the best thing you can do for him, its possible the school havent got too much interest from what you say I doubt if they bother stimulating the children and playing with them.Change the school as soon as you can ,and you will see the change in your boy, they are only young for such a short time you will spend the rest of your life in a few years away from him, give him as much time as you can now,you will be forever glad you did.