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1 year old girl; am I expecting too little?
So my 1yo girl (11 months actually, 12 months on aug. 5) amazes me at the things she does.
She knows that she needs to squeeze certain parts of toys to get the music and lights going (like hands, feet, ears). She can hold a remote control and watches the tv when pushes buttons. She knows that buttons are something you flick or push. Push or pull a door open while carrying her. And now she knows that certain songs are accompanied by certain hand movements. As a matter of fact one song I sing to her has two different wave movements and then a roll then clapping, without singing to her and just going through the motions she claps when she's supposed to.
Also now she's communicating fiercely when eating. She grunts when she wants us to feed her more, then puts her hands behind her ears if she wants a drink.
As a first time father I am happily amazed at those. Everyone I tell to shows amazement as well, even mothers who had multiple children.
Am I right to be proud and amazed? Or are these normal childhood milestones and I simply have my expectations of her behavior set too low?
She knows that she needs to squeeze certain parts of toys to get the music and lights going (like hands, feet, ears). She can hold a remote control and watches the tv when pushes buttons. She knows that buttons are something you flick or push. Push or pull a door open while carrying her. And now she knows that certain songs are accompanied by certain hand movements. As a matter of fact one song I sing to her has two different wave movements and then a roll then clapping, without singing to her and just going through the motions she claps when she's supposed to.
Also now she's communicating fiercely when eating. She grunts when she wants us to feed her more, then puts her hands behind her ears if she wants a drink.
As a first time father I am happily amazed at those. Everyone I tell to shows amazement as well, even mothers who had multiple children.
Am I right to be proud and amazed? Or are these normal childhood milestones and I simply have my expectations of her behavior set too low?
One thing about what you are saying -- finding the cute and clever things your baby does charming and surprising is not in the same scale of measurement as "expecting too little." Expecting a lot and expecting a little really don't have any place in interacting with your little bundle of love. You're stretching your emotional reality here, not your intellectual reality. The baby isn't taking and passing tests. She's just being her, and you're along for the fun, fun ride. In other words, it's OK to be delighted and charmed and think your baby is the smartest baby in the whole wide world. That is not having "too low of expectations," it is normal for a happy father. Don't draw the conclusion that you are somehow supposed to have "higher expectations." Just love and get a kick out of what she does.
Favorite clever baby stories.
My youngest daughter started to sing and talk at the same time. One day I heard her singing something very familiar, but the words confused me. Then I realized she was singing "La Marseillaise" with words that sounded French, but weren't. So when had she ever heard the French national anthem?
Then I remembered that about six months before this my eldest daughter had started to study French at school. She fell in love with "La Marseillaise" and had me teach it to her. I sang it and sang it until I turned blue. My baby, at the time, was not even a year old....
My youngest daughter started to sing and talk at the same time. One day I heard her singing something very familiar, but the words confused me. Then I realized she was singing "La Marseillaise" with words that sounded French, but weren't. So when had she ever heard the French national anthem?
Then I remembered that about six months before this my eldest daughter had started to study French at school. She fell in love with "La Marseillaise" and had me teach it to her. I sang it and sang it until I turned blue. My baby, at the time, was not even a year old....
Don't get me started. :)
My son did surprise me a couple of times when he was less than a year old. That was one, when he crawled to the bookshelf, picked out the correct book from just the spine showing, and showed it to me, all because the song came onto the CD. (I wasn't sure *I* could correctly identify the graphic of just the spine of the book at a glance.) The book did not come with the CD in it, or anything like that. He had just heard the book read a few times. Another was when I was reading Mother Goose books to him in bed, and when I began "This little piggy went to market," he gabbled at me (could not talk yet) and pulled his foot out from under the covers, so I could wiggle his toes. Obviously it's a clear and fun association, what is interesting is how quickly a child can learn those associations; often in one try. I used to think about it and sort of concluded it is because they don't have crowded brains -- it's a fresh new surface, waiting for things to drop in. As long as the child can focus, they can pick up things very fast.
You might have fun teaching your daughter signing. Children can sign earlier than they can talk, and it is a nice interaction for parent and child. Also reduces frustration for the child who is trying to communicate and their mouth is not there yet. You don't have to do an advanced job, just a few key words and concepts (mom, dad, hungry, eat, "more," funny, etc.)
My son did surprise me a couple of times when he was less than a year old. That was one, when he crawled to the bookshelf, picked out the correct book from just the spine showing, and showed it to me, all because the song came onto the CD. (I wasn't sure *I* could correctly identify the graphic of just the spine of the book at a glance.) The book did not come with the CD in it, or anything like that. He had just heard the book read a few times. Another was when I was reading Mother Goose books to him in bed, and when I began "This little piggy went to market," he gabbled at me (could not talk yet) and pulled his foot out from under the covers, so I could wiggle his toes. Obviously it's a clear and fun association, what is interesting is how quickly a child can learn those associations; often in one try. I used to think about it and sort of concluded it is because they don't have crowded brains -- it's a fresh new surface, waiting for things to drop in. As long as the child can focus, they can pick up things very fast.
You might have fun teaching your daughter signing. Children can sign earlier than they can talk, and it is a nice interaction for parent and child. Also reduces frustration for the child who is trying to communicate and their mouth is not there yet. You don't have to do an advanced job, just a few key words and concepts (mom, dad, hungry, eat, "more," funny, etc.)
Thank you all. I'm glad to know that I was setting very low expectations about what an infant is capable of.
When I said "everyone I tell to". I should've elaborated by saying that it was in a questioning tone and not bragging. And it was always family members and not friends. I'm not too fond of spinning stories, but my wife on the other hand...
I'm too aware of not comparing my child to savants and I'm not expecting my child to be a genius. I just hope she's at least as smart as I am. But even if not, I won't love her any less.
Thank you for your stories too. Annie; actually I would love to hear that story! :-P. as an engineer, sometimes I analyze what my child is doing and think about the possible thought process she goes through. But then I realize they're not machines! :-P
Again thanks all. Good night! May you and your loved ones be healthy and safe.
When I said "everyone I tell to". I should've elaborated by saying that it was in a questioning tone and not bragging. And it was always family members and not friends. I'm not too fond of spinning stories, but my wife on the other hand...
I'm too aware of not comparing my child to savants and I'm not expecting my child to be a genius. I just hope she's at least as smart as I am. But even if not, I won't love her any less.
Thank you for your stories too. Annie; actually I would love to hear that story! :-P. as an engineer, sometimes I analyze what my child is doing and think about the possible thought process she goes through. But then I realize they're not machines! :-P
Again thanks all. Good night! May you and your loved ones be healthy and safe.
Thank you all. I'm glad to know that I was setting very low expectations about what an infant is capable of.
When I said "everyone I tell to". I should've elaborated by saying that it was in a questioning tone and not bragging. And it was always family members and not friends. I'm not too fond of spinning stories, but my wife on the
I'm too aware of not comparing my child to savants and I'm not expecting my child to be a genius. I just hope she's at least as smart as I am. But even if not, I won't love her any less.
When I said "everyone I tell to". I should've elaborated by saying that it was in a questioning tone and not bragging. And it was always family members and not friends. I'm not too fond of spinning stories, but my wife on the
I'm too aware of not comparing my child to savants and I'm not expecting my child to be a genius. I just hope she's at least as smart as I am. But even if not, I won't love her any less.
You're right to be proud and amazed, children are absolutely amazing to watch.
She sounds delightful.
But honestly, what she's doing sounds right on track to me. i certainly remember songs like "the wheels on the bus" and "this little light of mine" and "he's got the whole world in his hands" with complicated hand movements, and 10 month olds can do that. Patty cake patty cake, baker's man . . .
A couple months ago i saw a 12 month old check out my pictures on my iphone by scrolling through them and making them larger and smaller by finger movements. Holy cow.
By the age of 4, people know most of what they will ever know in their lifetimes. Amazing, amazing, baby brains.
Great that you're involved enough with your baby to know how completely amazing she is. ;D
She sounds delightful.
But honestly, what she's doing sounds right on track to me. i certainly remember songs like "the wheels on the bus" and "this little light of mine" and "he's got the whole world in his hands" with complicated hand movements, and 10 month olds can do that. Patty cake patty cake, baker's man . . .
A couple months ago i saw a 12 month old check out my pictures on my iphone by scrolling through them and making them larger and smaller by finger movements. Holy cow.
By the age of 4, people know most of what they will ever know in their lifetimes. Amazing, amazing, baby brains.
Great that you're involved enough with your baby to know how completely amazing she is. ;D
Every kid has something impressive he or she can do (and the opposite) in relation to the time scale. Time will tell whether your kid is unusual or just being a bright, attentive kid. (I'm exempting the fact that some few kids are genuine savants, don't waste your time comparing your little darling with one of those who can paint lovely representational art better than any adult at age 3, or whatever. They're out there! Don't sweat it!!!) In the meantime, don't overwhelm your friends with stories designed to show that your child is over-the-top. (Want to hear about the time my son, 9 months old, crawled over and got the "Wheels on the Bus" book on the bookshelf by looking at its spine alone, just because the "Wheels on the Bus" song came onto the CD? ... I didn't think so. lol) Grandparents and aunts and uncles are often the most appreciative audience for most stories involving a child.
Regarding other people acting as surprised and amazed as you are, of course they will. They are your friends, and your joy in your child means a lot to them. And face it, are they going to say, "Djhash, that sounds pretty average to me"? When you go to your daughter's Well Baby appointment when she is 1, tell her doctor what the child is doing, and if he or she says "Wow! I can't believe it! Let me call the child development experts!" then you'll know she's got something going on. Doctors are pretty used to everything kids do, as are kindergarten teachers. If one of those is impressed, that's a good sign. :)
Regarding other people acting as surprised and amazed as you are, of course they will. They are your friends, and your joy in your child means a lot to them. And face it, are they going to say, "Djhash, that sounds pretty average to me"? When you go to your daughter's Well Baby appointment when she is 1, tell her doctor what the child is doing, and if he or she says "Wow! I can't believe it! Let me call the child development experts!" then you'll know she's got something going on. Doctors are pretty used to everything kids do, as are kindergarten teachers. If one of those is impressed, that's a good sign. :)
I have had four children. I noticed that each successive baby seemed smarter than the one before. I was in error. I was getting smarter in that I had a greater understanding of what they were saying and what they were trying to do. Now I have 10 grandchildren. I can hear them trying to say mama when only weeks old. I guess I got smarter again.
Well, I don't know. My boys were similar by that age. They catch on to things you do with them. And my kids also let me know when they wanted more of something to eat or when they were done. My one son rubbed the top of his head. I was (still am) a stay at home mommy so spend a lot of times with my bundles of joy. I knew them really well and picked up on their early communication. They begin pointing and then use words, it's great fun to watch.
I remember when my son was just a bit older than that. He was calling me in his room. I went in and he was standing in his crib. He was trying to tell me something babbling up a wall. I couldn't understand. So, he bent down and picked up a book that was in his bed. He turned (himself) to a page and pointed to Ernie (you know, from Sesame Street) who was playing baseball in the picture and had a ball in his glove. The story was a rhyme and on that page it said "Ernie caught the ball". He pointed to the glove and said "caught". I'm still not sure why he felt the need to tell me that during nap time but I found the whole thing amazing.
Babies and toddlers know a lot more than we probably give them credit for. Enjoy your little one.
I remember when my son was just a bit older than that. He was calling me in his room. I went in and he was standing in his crib. He was trying to tell me something babbling up a wall. I couldn't understand. So, he bent down and picked up a book that was in his bed. He turned (himself) to a page and pointed to Ernie (you know, from Sesame Street) who was playing baseball in the picture and had a ball in his glove. The story was a rhyme and on that page it said "Ernie caught the ball". He pointed to the glove and said "caught". I'm still not sure why he felt the need to tell me that during nap time but I found the whole thing amazing.
Babies and toddlers know a lot more than we probably give them credit for. Enjoy your little one.
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