Compulsive Disorders for a Child

[Latina235]

By reaching and reading books I have learn that my child is very violent and compulsive, but how can I help my child who is 8 yrs old with an extreme violent obsessive compulsive disorder?

[supermomma531]

If I sounded harsh, I'm sorry. I do know how hard it is to raise a child with disabilities. My 8 yr old has a rare form of epilepsy and has huge behavioral problems that we're trying to get a handle on. I also have a 10 yr old and a 19 month old whom is delayed a little with his speech and was delayed on crawling, walking, plus more.

You sound like you're on top of things. The therapy he has been in before, was it behavioral therapy? From what I have read on it, it suppose to help retrain people with any kind of behavior. Whether it be social skills, etiquette, anger management, etc. With OCD, usually perfectionism is the biggest thing for people with this disorder. This probably helps to keep him calm if he is able to do something to his thought of perfection. But at the same time, it can also be overwhelming if he is constantly trying to be perfect and doesn't have any fun. Have you ever tried to help him have fun and try to help him to forget about perfection even if for a little while? Maybe playing soccer or football or some other type of sport that takes practice and is physically exhausting? My son is also in a spec ed class for at least half of a day. They have a modified program set out for him that helps him to learn basic life skills but it can also be adjusted as he needs it. I know that you don't want to put your child on any medication but have you sat down and talk to the doctors thoroughly about your options? Maybe researched it thoroughly yourself? Is there maybe any type of specific diet that he can be put on that can help him function better? I know with my son, there are 2 specific diets that we can try with him. One is the ketogenic diet which I feel is too high is fats and carbs and then there is the modified Atkins diet which is similar to the other diet but isn't as high in fat or carbs content. With my son, we haven't reached this area for him yet. If his seizures start going out of control again, then I definitely will be questioning his doctor about this. But with my child because his seizures have gotten progressively worse over the years, we felt that the meds would be his best option. But he has been through heck and back trying to get the right combination. Even now as I sit here, he could at any moment start having seizures again. But thankfully he hasn't had any seizures for about 5 months. Getting lots of help from the professionals is a great idea but it may not always work. The peeing his pants could be because he sounds like maybe he has anxiety issues with being away from home. Does he ever get to go and spend a night away from home maybe at grandmas or aunties or at a friends house? This could over time help to alleviate this type of problem. Try a sticker reward chart with him for all of his better days that you consider great and see if you can have the teachers start a communication book that goes back and fourth to home and school. Does his father deal with him in the same manners that you do? If there is a huge difference in the way things are between your home and his fathers home, this could be confusing to him. My son went through a year of speech and 2 years of physio therapy with our school board. If you're not happy with the answers that the doctors are giving you, keep taking him to different doctors until you get the right one. Everyone has to be on the same boat to be able to raise this child properly. You and his father have to be on the same page of how to raise him right. This is probably the number one thing that confuses a child. When the parents are raising them differently. Especially in a situation where mom and dad may not be living together anymore. Is this your situation? I'm sorry for asking but there maybe more confusion for your son if this is the case and he may be acting out especially if he doesn't understand. We as parents have to understand that if children feel like they aren't getting the attention they want, their behavior could change dramatically for the better or the worse in order to get that attention. Praise him for all of his good behavior. Use the reward chart. For his unwanted behaviors, whomever is dealing with him needs to express to him why his behavior is wrong and how to correct that behavior. I think that the school is probably doing the best that the law allows. Be understanding to his feelings.  How much one on one time does he get with you and his dad? Separately and together? If I've offended you, I am really sorry. I hope this helps you out in your situation. Remember that we as parents are our children' s only advocates. Good luck.

[Latina235]

Well to answer your questions, I have taken him to the Dr. at age 3-4 yrs old. Dr stated that it was only disciplining him, which than I took him into therapy to help him and myself to help him with this problems.  His been in therapy on and of because his behavior has decrease. However, he gets very easily upset of anything, and he worries too much about what other kids or people are doing. Also, he has speech problems and in he is currently in special education class, which also they help with therapy. He is a perfectionist, and I think that's one of his obsessive compulsive disorder. He has a lot of problems in school because he gets very easily upset. The teachers has helped him control his anger, but it is still a problem at school. I don't want him to be in any kind of medication, I just hope that with a lot of help from professionals and my self and his father will just get better. I also want to mention that he has had problems with peen in his pants during the day including at school, and also at night. I have been working with him to encouraging and reminding him to go use the restroom and he does. But when he is visiting his father or his at school or when I'm not with him, he wets his pants. So, its been very difficult for me to help my son with this problems. But it seems that I running out of ideas and things to do to help him. So I really appreciate your understanding and your help.

[supermomma531]

First of all, have you ever had your son to a doctor for this behavior? I think this is where you must start. Then at the same time, try to get home life into a routine for him. What is he obsessive compulsive about? What does he get violent about? Is there anything that you can do to help alleviate these situations? Maybe such as not having him put into certain situations that maybe make him angry? This is something you have to talk to with your doctor or pediatrician. Maybe getting him into some sort of counseling where he can vent or talk to someone who he is close to. Also try to get him involved into some sports where he can run off some of his energy. Maybe soccer, hockey, football, baseball, etc. Even martial arts will teach him self discipline, respect, obedience, self control and self preservation. This may the the best for him because he can channel all of his anger towards one particular thing and if he has really good instructors, they'll be able to help him do all of this plus more. There are many different types of martial arts, maybe akeido  would be a good type of martial arts because from what I understand, it teaches better understanding and better resolutions. Take a look into some of these things because your son sounds like he needs something like this to help cope with his issues. Maybe get him to start writing a journal of sorts and get him to write all of his feelings down and just keep it for him at home. You can keep a journal too of how you are feeling and how you think he is doing with his behaviors and get the school to start a communication book between you and them. How is he in school anyhow? Does he get into any trouble at school? how do they handle this? Is he picked on at school or does he get into a lot of fights? Is he on any medications for his OCD? I hope this helps you a lot, if you ever need to talk, send me a private message. Good luck.

[margypops]

Could you explain further in what way , what behavior is he showing .what kind of violence .