Defiant 2 year old

[Chas2U]

I have a 2y9m old boy who has been very defiant and aggressive since he was 18 months old. It seems that he will do things just because he is told not to and thinks it is funny when he does. He has been hitting and pushing other children at the playground and school, usually for no obvious reason. He hits, bites, pinches, and throws things at adults around him. As soon as this "phase" seems to be passing, it starts up again, usually worse. He is only 2 and has been in several day cares because no one will take him back. He has been evaluated for autism, developmental delays, and other compulsive disorder. How can I get his behavior to improve?  Please help or at least tell me I'm not alone.

[AnnieBrooke]

Chas2U, it is probably exactly your attention he yearns for.  I understand having to work, of course, but it is very hard on a toddler when all he really wants is to be with mommy, to be sent off to daycare every day all day.  Being home on breaks is not enough, in a kid's heart.  Sorry that for working women, there is no other choice.  My son is 4 1/2, and he goes to preschool three afternoons a week.  We arrive as the kids who have been there all day are just waking up from naps or rests (a lot of them do sleep) after lunch.  Several of them wake up crying, "Mommy, Mommy."  They suck it up and go on with their day, but it's pretty telling.  Kids just don't want to be separate from their moms at young ages.

[margypops]

It may be a good idea to ask Day care more, what stimulation do the children have is there any other children that are aggressive?I still think this is learned behavior from some source .

[Chas2U]

His behavior hasn't been as severe since 18 m but he has always been aggressive in some way or another. When the day care says, "for no reason", I often wonder because their IS a reason. As for the evaluations, that was recommended by the child care. He was found to perfectly "normal", above level on most points.

[Chas2U]

I work in a school system and keep him home with me on all breaks. His behavior is significantly better when it's just the two of us, if anyone else comes around (dad, grandparents included) his behavior gets worse.  I have thought it was attention, I feel like I give that to him especially the positive. Maybe it's not my attention he yearns...?

[margypops]

Goodness he has been evaluated for autism, delays and compulsive disorder at 2 year old ?

[AnnieBrooke]

I also am wondering what he is reacting to in his life.  Would he rather be home and has been sent to daycare?  Does he get enough attention from the people he loves the most?

[margypops]

Does anyone do similar to him any sibling , sometimes children copy . 18 months old is young to start this kind of aggressiveness with out some prompting, what are they like in day care are you sure its all him ?