6 year old wants to be a girl

[cavadana]

I made an appointment with the pediatrician for next week. I video taped a conversation me and my son had to show them. Since two he has gravitated more towards girl activities playing barbies befriending girls. Which is normal and didn't bother me, but now he saying he wants to be a girl and wear dresses and how it makes him sad that I tell him no and call him a boy. He drew a picture at school that said when I grow up I am going to be a mommy. i asked him about it and he said that he wanted to marry a guy and be a mommy. I asked him what would make him happy he said growing his hair long and wearing bows with footless leggings. Wearing dresses to school. I then asked him well what if kids at school made fun of you and didn't want to be your friend. He replied oh well I want to be a girl. I have let him in the past wear a boys pink shirt and spray his hair pink with glitter. I most recently because of his major tantrums and crying because I wouldn't by a dress, let him wear make up, or buy a pair of pink pajamas finnaly let him purchase pink converse shoes which I can swallow that. My question is how can you tell a difference between a phase and actual serious wish to be another gender. I mentioned my concerns to my MIL and she said well if something came of this too bad he is what he is, but I wouldn't feel the same way I . I would want him to be happy. My question is doing I cater him and let him do what he wants or hold off for the sake that it just might be a phase. Does more harm come to the child if he is denied what he wants or if you let him pursuee his wishes and people break him down even possibly relatives.

[Phoenix1230]

The fact that I have seen so many comments about this on here terrifies me.
First of all, there is nothing wrong with your child. Gender exploration is normal. It has nothing to do with a parent of either gender being there or not - obviously, if lesbian couples can raise self-identified boys.
Second of all, if this is causing your child stress, there is a good chance it is not a phase. Transgender people often know from a wrong age that something is wrong and be self-destructive and antisocial if their problems are ignored or if  they are told they are "wrong".
The fact that this has persisted for so long is a good indication that this is real. Instead of going to a pediatrician, go to an affirming psychologist who can help YOU understand what your child may be going through.
Besides, if your child does decide - without outside pressure - to change and express fully as male, what's the harm in allowing female expression now? If you never tell your child this is a negative thing, there will be no need for shame.

[Athena_M]

It's good that you are seeing your pediatrician about this.  Does he watch you put on make-up?  I don't let my 5 year old boy see me do this because then he wants to do that too.  Maybe he admires you and wants to be just like you.   Does he have a dad around?