Does my niece need to be evaluated?

[rosa021408]

I have a daughter, we call her zaza, she is a very, very happy 2 year old.She is very friendly, constantly smiling, and extremely social. My daughter does have her terrible 2 days, fighting with other kids, doing the usual that other kids do. But overall, she  doesnt seem to have any issues that concern me what so ever.She has cousins that she is usually around to play with, and they all have their little fights, with the hitting scratching, fighting for a toy, but she has one cousin( a girl), and she is 3 years old, her name is i'yanah. I'yanah, doesnt seem to smile much, and she sometimes isolates herself and plays alone. its really hard to even get a smile out of her.She doesnt have any extreme behavioral problems, but she is sneaky and sometimes you will catch her doing something evil, like holdind down her 1 year old cousin head in a pillow.spitting in another childs face, or something mean to another child when noones looking. but she listens when she is in trouble, she doesnt fight back i guess because of fear. Her mother is always mean to her, yelling and hitting her for every thing. I have heard stories of her mother being alot more abusive toward her then she is currently. sometimes she will sweet talk her but its like the sweet talk switches up so fast, and the next minutes she is saying something mean, cursng her out, or hitting her.Her mother went through child abuse at a young age, and her mother now is am addictive theif.She will steal anything from a sock to jewlery out of macy's, just because of temptation and the urge, and then deny it with all of her heart.Im not sure if the mothers issues and experiences of being abused and mistreated can be reasons of the mistreatment of I'yanah and her behaviour.. I'yanah has a 1 year old sister, and the mother favors the youngest one. Now for some reason I'yanah has given me reasons to believe that she does now like my daughter. If zaza was so much to just touch her, she hated it.she doesnt involve herself with my daughter what soever, and is always mean to her. One day i was taking a picture of I'yanah and as soon as i said, "take a picture with zaza", the smile immediately wiped off her face.  My daughter isn't old enough to understand that I'yanah didn't want to take the picture with her, so she kept trying to hug her, but I'yanah kept refusing. That same day I'yanah tryed to slam the door in zaza's face and her thumb finger was in the door and  was amuptated. then after we got to the hospital, I'yanah tried to do the same thing to another one of their 1 year old cousin's. It seemed as if she knew she had hurt zaza and it went into a habit  to try to hurt someone else. I dont know what to think because she is only 3 years old. Everyone is saying she is just a child going through a faze that some children go through, but i think its alot more deeper than people think.I believe that 3 year olds can go through jealousy and issues from where it begins because of something going on at home, and if it isn't addressed it can turn into a much bigger problem.I just need some professional answers and some help so maybe i can be a help to I'yanah.

[RockRose]

I agree with everyone,  but WHAT?  Your daughter has lost a thumb and a finger now?

[specialmom]

I agree with mammo 100%.  The mother needs to be evaluated and this poor little girl is suffering.  S

[benjimom]

Really sad story...

[mamabalas]

I completely agree with mammo.

[mammo]

It sounds like this little girl has withdrawn due to abuse, and is full of anger as a result of abuse.  There is probably a lot going on with her, that only a specialist can determine.  But I don't feel this is normal behavior, and her life is very sad, you have to have empathy for this child.  You may be her only help as people tend to not get involved.  A tough situation to be in.  Three year olds do go thru phases, but under the circumstances, I don't feel this is a phase.  Good luck with this and keep us posted, it truly breaks my heart.