Extremely Angry 7 yr old boy

[Felicialessard]

I have a 7 yr old son. He is extremely bright for his age and thinks and acts more mature than what he should at 7. In the last 3 years we have been dealing with a lot of anger issues with him. It doesn't take much to set him off. He have tried every way of discipline, from spankings (not hard or anything, just a tap on the rear) to sitting him down and calmly talking with him about the way that he feels. He doesn't respond to anything. He will get so angry that it brings him to lie about everything and he will raise his fist at us and kick at us. When we ask him to tell us what he is feeling and why he is so mad, he makes things up that doesn't make sense at all. We don't know what to do anymore. We are both at wits end and neither of us know how to handle him anymore. Lately, we have been discipling him by sending him to a time-out in his bed for about 20 minutes (depending on the extremity of the issue) and he will sit in his room and kick and punch the walls and scream at the top of his lungs. He isn't like this everyday but we have to fuss at him everyday for his behavior. He has punched his 2 yr old brother in the stomach before but is normally very nice to him and helps him out in any way. My son has gone back to my mother and told her horrible stories about my husband and I and I am very afraid that he will get taken away from us. What should we do and how should we handle this type of situation?

[roxxy292004]

Thank you for posting your information about your son, i also  have a seven yr old son who is having similar problems.  He is also an emotional child ad very angry. But according to his teachers he is wonderful in school- which makes me feel worse cause he is so angry at home.  We asked for him to receive counseling at school but they found no problem said he is a normal little boy- we are now seeking outside help from a counselor who can better evaluate the situation.  Im here if you need someone to talk to or vent with- seeing we both have the same helpless feelings.  please keep me updated on how you are doing with your sons progress.  i am very interested - who knows maybe we can help eachother.  thanks again

[Felicialessard]

I agree with all of you. My son also goes over to my mother's house and the way they are around there is my mother is the boss and my dad just sits back and takes everything in. My son runs to her about everything and tells her everything which I don't like because she has already told me some of the responses that she gave back to him and to be honest, they aren't something that a 7 yr old should hear. He came home after this weekend and told me that his mom-mom said he didn't have to love daddy. Now to me that is very disturbing. My husband and I have talked about it and we are going to put him in some anger management/ therapy sessions to get things situated. Also, my son is not to be over at my mother's until we have figured out how to handle things ourselves. I already know that there are a couple of kid's in his class that are pushing him around. My son is an emotional child as it is (he gets that from me) and I told him that if it happened again, I would sit down with the teacher and principal to find out some reasoning and solutions (which I am doing Jan. 2nd). He has a journal that he has been writing in about his feelings but today when he asked me to read it...all that really stood out was two sentences, "Can you see me now?" and "Can you hear me now?" Now my husband and I ALWAYS listen to what he has to say and we are always trying to spend as much time with him as possible so I am thinking that there is something going on in his head that he isn't telling us.

[savik]

Sometimes children are abused at school or in after care programs--find out if anyone is bullying him or anything else.  This can cause built up resentment.  Parents are the end source, but in today's world, our children see more people than just parents.  Even school systems can have an emotionaly abusive teacher on staff.  Check out his relationship with his teacher.  He does need anger management help though.  

[redneckmom]

I agree that you should try to get some outside help for your son.  However, as a society people blame the parents of young children because they are the major influence in these children's lives.  Who else do you go to for the children if not the parent or gaurdian.  Try to see what your son's issues with you are.  I am not saying that they are real issues, but to a 7 year old things are different than they are to adults; and you may not see it if you or your husband are doing something throughout the day that is very upsetting.  An open and honest talk with follow through and no fear from the child for discipline for anything they say can be helpful.  If he does not want to talk you could have him write his concerns down and you can read them together or alone later.  Just make sure you take them to heart.

[Carolina2806]

I understand your concerns and you should be worried about what he will say as people in this day and age are always quick to blame the parents for everything a child does and says.

I would take him to a counselor or a psychiatrist and ask what they can teach him about anger managment. If you cannot afford it privately--go to children's services yourself and they have a counselor that can talk with him. A lot of good people actually work in DHR or DHS--I am not sure what it is called in your area.  

If you get him help, it helps to cover you in the event that someone turns you in to children's services.

It also helps him because he sounds like he has an anger problem and maybe a trained professional can teach him ways of diffusing his anger--in a healthier manner.

I hope things work out.