7 Year Old Physically aggressive

[NLosingItY]

I have read some of the other posts about the anger issues in 7 yr olds, and my issue is close, but not exactly the same. I will start with a little history about my 7 yr old nephew.

When he was 3, his parents were arrested on drug charges, and my parents went to get him before the baby was put into foster care.  He has lived with my parents ever since. When he was 5, my brother overdosed and died.  Seven months later his mother died, also of an overdose. While it didn't CHANGE his life because he hadn't been living with them for over 2 years, but it certainly made him sad. Shortly after his father's death, I moved back into my parents' home to go back to college.  We are not 100% sure but we think he was born with an addiction to heroin or methadone. He has not been diagnosed with ADD or ADHD.

Yesterday, we received a call from his day camp that he had gotten in a fight and that they would like to meet with us. We met with them today and they told us he was not allowed back to the camp because he has been hitting, punching, pushing, etc., all the other kids in his group and sometimes kids from the other groups. We were told that one child was pulled from the camp because his parents felt that he wasn't safe.

I would attribute this al lto his being a kid, since this does happen amongh children, however, he has exhibited these behaviors at home for a few years now. He hates to be told "No." If you say no to him, he instantly gets hateful. He has hit me, my mother and my father. He calls us names (jerk, idiot, stupid, etc.) and tells us to "shut up." As a matter of fact on the way home, he wouldn't put his seatbelt on, so I took away the mask that he was wearing and he became physically aggressive with me, and I restrained his hands. He then began using his head to try to hit me.

Later on, I told him I was upset by what he had done, and he said he didn't punch me, etc.  I am starting to wonder if he isn't even realizing when he is hitting. He explained to me that he gets very angry, easily, and he hasn't learned how to control it. I am sure that was what the people at the camp had said to him, but he does realize that he gets angry and can't stop himself.  I told him that I wanted to help him learn how to control it, and that we would all start talking to someone to learn how to do that. He seemed receptive to that. He went on to say that his friend at the camp was mean to other kids and he wanted to be like him.

It makes me sad that I can't fix this, having studied psychology for so long, but when it is your own issue it is very hard to see objectively enough to fix it. So, am I doing the right thing in trying to get him into counseling? I think he needs it, and my parents think so too. I just want to do wat's best for him so he has a "normal" childhood.

[NLosingItY]

I forgot to mention in my post that my mother, who has become the mother figure to him, had to u ndergo chemotherapy starting this past March and has not been able to spend the time with him that she used to with him because she gets very tired.

His behavior in school is nowhere near as bad. In April, we started getting notes home from the teacher that he didn't want to do his classwork, there were only one or two reports that he had an issue with another child in school.

Today, he got angry at my mother and hit her hand, then tried to play it off like he was joking, but we knew he wasn't because he was standing there glaring at her with fists clenched at his sides.

[RockRose]

I think counseling is a very good idea.

How does he do in school?