HItting

Why is my 4 year old hitting his classmates and teachers?  My husband seems to think that spanking him, taking away his desserts and no television is the answer.  I am lost.  Please help.

[RockRose]

My guess is,  hitting him to teach him not to hit others isn't working at all.

Is there a lot of spanking going on in your house,  to the point where he works out any conflict by hitting?  

[benjimom]

Sometimes I think kids resort to hitting when they don't know how to work out the conflict with words, it might immaturity. It could be attention seeking behavior too.  I think boys tend to be impulsive and not think before they act.  I've had issues with my son doing this.   Spanking makes things like this worse.  You are trying to tell him not to hit, but you are hitting back.  I don't like to personally use food as a reward or punishment.  I would try to work with him and talk with him about other ways to deal with conflict.  IT's tough.

[ruggy13]

My husband and I have a similar situation. Our son in now 8 years old, but we have struggled with his aggression since an early age. We do not always agree with the way to disipline him. My husband grew up in a very strict home where you did not ask twice to do something. Their way of showing affection was limiting and not too huggy feelly. My way of growing up was full of hugs and kisses, but I also got quite a few physical reminders of who was in charge. There is a way I believe to parent with love and logic, a good key to this is being on the same page with your partner. You want your children to respect you and others, and always feel love and security. We have tried many solutions I agree you don't want to tamper with food it's confusing, and even more confusing is saying no hitting after hitting. Positive Praise when he is nice to others goes a long way, and sometimes not making too big of a deal when he does hit or going to the other child to see if they are ok first takes away that I need attention thing.Showing your child that the two of you are a team on his side is the most important thing.  Parenting is the hardest and most challenging, yet rewarding job there ever will be!!!! Good Luck . P.S we still struggle with his aggression and work on other choices he can  make other than taking it out on others. (Not to say that is going to happen with your son)