HOW TO STOP MY CHILD FROM COPYING

[JAYSON319]

LAST WEEKEND MY SON WHO WILL BE 7YRS OLD WAS HANGING OUT WITH ANOTHER BOY WHO IS 9YRS OLD AFTER AWHILE I STARTED PAYING ATTENTION TO THE 9YR OLD ON HOW HE WAS ACTING AND CARRYING HIMSELF HE WAS ACTING A BIT FEMINE AND DOING THINGS A GIRL WOULD WITH HIS HANDS AND BODY MOVEMENT MY SON IS NOT AROUND KIDS MUCH SO WHEN HE IS HE HAS A BAD HABIT OF COPYING THEM SINCE MY SON HAS BEEN AROUND THIS BOY IVE NOTICE THAT HE IS DOING THINGS AND ACTING AS THIS 9YR OLD AND I DONT LIKE IT I TRIED TO EXPLAIN TO HIM HE NEEDS TO STOP AND HE CONTINUES  HE KNOWS IM GETTING UPSET ABOUT IT HOW CAN I STOP HIM FROM COPYING THIS BOY WHO ACTS FEMINE LIKE A GIRL

[nursegirl6572]

Are you worried about homosexuality?  

At 6 years of age, there's usually not much influence of any peer that "sticks"...they go through so many stages.  

Just be cautious as to how you're discussing this with him.  While you're certainly entitled to your views, in the grand scheme of things, he isn't doing anything "wrong" per se.  It's not like the 9 year old taught him to flip you off and use the F word. You just don't want to be punishing him, or riding him about something like this....and trust me, the MORE attention you give it, the longer the behavior will last most likely.

[JAYSON319]

this was the first time my son was around this boy.... he is also around other kids in school etc but not much outside of school he is only 6yrs old i get the mimicing of other children and adults its that the 9yr boys body language and hand movement and things he was doing was how a girl would act.... like you said you can usually tell who your child has been around and that is true but im not liking the acting as a girl part because he saw another boy act that way and think its ok for him also. im sorry

[nursegirl6572]

I would add, you said your child isn't around other kids much, how come?

That's really a vital part of their development, socialization, with all KINDS of different kids in different environments.  Be mindful of big age differences either way, for a consistent playmate.

It sounds like your son is soaking up his time with this other child....if he had more interaction with other kids, I bet it wouldn't be as severe.  Just a hunch.

[nursegirl6572]

This is absolutely normal, and I don't think there is anything you can do about it for the most part.  Kids at that age mimic what their peers do, how they talk, walk, dress, you name it.  My son is 9, and like Rose said, I could tell who he's been spending his time with simply by the way he talks, the things he says, everything.

Unless your child is copying very bad behavior (which would have to have consequences)...I wouldn't worry about it.  

[RockRose]

It's most likely not a phase,  and actually kids who do this behavior have great language and social skills typically.   It's a brain thing,  to easily slip into behaviors of those around you,  and these kids often make great diplomats and tend to be very empathetic.   It's not something they can turn on and turn off easily.

All kids pick up mannerisms from those around them - look at how toddlers can imitate their parents mannerisms and speech patterns PERFECTLY - it's almost comical to watch.  As they say,  when your child imitates you,  he seldom gets it wrong.  ;D

It's certainly not worth telling a child he can't hang out with other children.  In the course of his childhood,  you'll find some kids you LOVE for him to imitate.

[JAYSON319]

i have been telling him since that day to stop but i think because im making such an issue of it he keeps on he was told he will not be allowed to hang out with other kids if he keeps on but i cant keep him away from everyone i dont want my younger son to start doing as him with the copying im just not sure how to make him understand he needs to be himself or if hes lacking attention and this is his way to get. i just hope its a faze

[RockRose]

You really can't do much to keep your child from "copying".  Some kids are really good at that,  and if they're around kids with great social skills and good body movement,  they copy that too.  You can tell who they've been hanging out with,  when they come home,  by the intonation of their voice.   It's a brain thing,  and these kids pick up language quickly too.  By copying adults.  ;D

Making him aware of it when he's doing it  is probably somewhat helpful - and it sounds like this boy is someone you can't avoid?