How to deal with a 4 year old boy whom is a pretty rounded boy with the exception of being a bit aggressive and rough towards other kids and his own 1 year old brother? a bit of history about him: He was the victim among other kids in our family and friends with kids his age. Until one day he snapped back and since then he became a different boy and now he may be the one to initiate the first trike if something happened didn't go his way or at times he will respond to others aggressions. He was always a nice boy friendly thoughtful and always had a good report from his pre-school teacher. Always a very happy boy and very bright with a lot of hunger for learning new things...Now the he started JK he is having these episodes of hitting back or hitting someone because he couldn't have the toy the other kid had at the time. I would like to help him to refrain from hitting others and deal with situations in the best way possible. Help! what strategy should apply to correct this issue!
I think the thing to remember is that he has learned these ways to behave from the other kids. He needs to learn other methods to deal with his situation. All modifications must be immediate at this age. So if he is aggressive with your little one - he needs an immediate timeout.
For the other kids, he needs other ways to deal with the situation. These are things that can and should be practiced at home. It does no good to discipline if he doesn't know how to respond back.
There are books aimed at the 4 to 7 year old crowd that are meant to be read aloud to them and then practiced. You might try "Hands are not for hitting" found here - http://www.amazon.com/Hands-Hitting-Ages-Best-Behavior/dp/1575420775 and further down the page you will see "know and follow rules" and many other good books.
Hope this helps.
Thanks so much. I will try the book! And by all means I do give him time outs even take away the toys that he likes as well tv. time however, these things are not sending the message that it should be stop at once and not to have those episodes again!
Of course I am correcting him at the time of the action. I give him time outs, take away toys that he likes and also take away t,v, time however, these methods are not working very much for me. I have talked to him very nicely and also very stern....I have even yield at him, which my boy at the time would tell me "mommy stop yielding at me use your inside voice and use kind words" how do I get around that and make him understand that he has to stop hitting or being rough towards others!
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