Horrible tantrums and repetitive behavior

[dipmom]

Someone please help me with my son's out of control tantrums and just plain weird behavior. I feel like my marriage is suffering. My husband recently told me he dreads coming home from work because he fears another screaming horrible tantrum.  My son has always been weird about clothes--he will basically wear only a few things and we tolerate it pretty well. But now he wants to rip his clothes off and refuses to put them back on. He also does this weird thing where he will ask me over and over to do something and then when I comply, he won't let me do it. For example, we went for forty minutes last night with him asking me over and over to blow his nose. When I try to blow his nose he turns his head, then screams again for me to blow it...and on and on and on.....If you comply or don't it is his way of leading to a tantrum until I leave the room in frustration at which time he screams MOMMY over and over for like 30 minutes.

I have taken him to a doctor and a psychiatrist and been told he is not autistic but I'm at my wit's end here. It's morning, noon and night with these tantrums and obsessive behavior.  He doesn't do this at school--his teacher said he is the best kid in the class. And, he has no learning problems or social problems--he has tons of friends and can practically write already. He plays with imagination, etc.

[dipmom]

Wow, I did not expect so many great responses so quickly!  Thanks everyone.  I did forget to include that my son is four.  Currently, we live overseas as well so I don't have access to any services. I've decided to bring him home and stay with my folks for awhile so I can go to some doctors and basically just have my mom's support.

Maybe I will take him to an occupational therapist...I am also going to institute a chart for good behavior stickers and a private chart of my own to track the tantrums along with his food intake, etc.  I sure don't expect my kid to be perfect, Lord knows I'm not. I just want him to be happy and well-ajusted.

[jdtm]

Let me see - autism has been ruled out and yet your son has "tantrums and obsessive behavior" (your words).  I'm wondering if the issue is OCD - your post definitely indicates this could be a possibility.  I might suggest you google the phrase "OCD in children" or "anxiety in children" or similar words/phrases to see if the descriptions remind you of your son.  By the way, sensitivity to certain items of clothing, tantrums, and inflexibility are common behaviours to children suffering from anxiety.  I wish you the best ....

[lisaM54]

How old is your son?  Maybe a discipline chart would work.  For instance, put the days of the week on it and let him choose a reward.  After so many stickers on it he can earn his reward.  Its like setting goals.  He sounds like he really needs some mommy and daddy attention.  You need to ignore the bad behavior and reward the good.