Aa
Aa
A
A
A
Close
Avatar universal

How can a child of four be accused of gropping?

I was called into school a on my four year olds fourth full week at school because "he had gropped a little girl, and this was a child protection issue". I am a Health visitor and deal with child protection every day. The parent of the girl who had said my son had stroked her inner thigh, whilst in circle time in  class, told the techer who was not able to give advice other than make out that my son was a pervert. He is a normal little boy who has always been affectionate and uses stroking as a comfort thing, something he always did when i breastfed him , he would stroke my face or arm etc. Can you clarify what is appropriate? my child has no awareness of what is or is not appropriate as sexual education/child protection issues have not been discussed he is a young four, and i wanted to discuss these things when he was more able to understan. My kids never watch anything innapropriate on tv, have never witnessed any sexual behaviour just normal hugs. please clarify the developmental processes that highlight how innocent this was!


This discussion is related to Two inappropriate touching episodes by 7yr old in one week.
6 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
535822 tn?1443976780
this is on another thread also
Helpful - 0
535822 tn?1443976780
Seems like Normal behavior from a loving child, perhaps explain to him he can stroke your arm but it isnt a good idea to stroke any part of some friend, and address why the Parent  or anyone would call him a pervert! Has affection gone to the dogs aswell!!This is a 4year old not a 14yearold.
Helpful - 0
603946 tn?1333941839
I can see that too now that you mention it- and the adults went wild---- or maybe the teacher even said "pervert" in a tongue and cheek manner hoping to blow the mother off and ended up encouraging the chat- then didn't know how to get out of the counseling session- so even all this has me concerned because this poor boy thinks he is bad ofr just being a cuddler I do not for a minute believe he meant anything inappropriate- I hope he has forgotten about it by now and I hope the teacher has grown a brain cell or three-

tell me it has all been forgotten- please!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
It makes me wonder what the girl has been exposed to?  Or maybe her mother has given her the birds and bees talk already, and at 4 she is taking everything her mother said and just talking to her mother about what "may" be inappropriate.  I know that my step-daughters mother has already explained the basics of sex to their girls who are 5 and 7, but at the time they were 4 and 6.  
Helpful - 0
603946 tn?1333941839
Right- a toucher is a toucher and at age FOUR- come on!!!!!- Age seven or eight is considered the age of accountability and a well formed conscience and that is if the behavior is 'known' to be inappropriate- this kid had no clue/ I have had preschoolers inadvertently touch a breast- for a split second I feel odd til I remember they are babies- I move their hand and lovingly smile and redirect them- that's IT! I have had others reach down and touch a body part while I am diapering- it's odd for a split second then I remember they are BABIES!

and you know what I cannot really even think of a way to explain inappropriate-ness here with a four year old except to try the idea of no touching where a bathing suit goes- ???? Don't feel bad that you never discussed it either- now you are starting to second guess yourself as a good mother-  I am sure you are a wonderful mother- please don't do this to yourself- I am sorry you are going thru this and I am sure your child is a delight!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I definitly say the school blew this out of porportion. Like you said he is four. My son did that to me once(think he learned it from his dad and girlfriend at the time) I corrected him and told him it was not appropriate behavior He hasnt done it since
Helpful - 0
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the Child Behavior Community

Top Children's Health Answerers
189897 tn?1441126518
San Pedro, CA
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
Fearing autism, many parents aren't vaccinating their kids. Can doctors reverse this dangerous trend?
Is a gluten-free diet right for you?
We answer your top questions about the flu vaccine.
Learn which over-the-counter medicines are safe for you and your baby
Yummy eats that will keep your child healthy and happy
Healing home remedies for common ailments