I don't know what to do anymore

[frust720]

Life in our home has always been challenging. We have 3 kids a daughter that is 9, son that is 7 and our youngest son is 5 . Our daughter has always been our easy child. Our concerns lie with our boys. Our 7 yr old will fight with you until you think you will absolutely lose it. He is very anal. He will even correct you if you don't say things just so. He has always been difficult testing you on every turn.  
Our 5 yr old and our 7 yr old are at odds most of the time it seems. They for the most part are normal brothers.
They both have a really hard time in school our 7 yr old can barely read at the beginning of the year he couldn't now he is at least at a 4 reading level. Both of the boys teachers say they have attention problems.
Our 5 yr old can't read or write his name and barely knows the alphabet. He is extremely shy and b arely talks in school if at all. His classmates think he can't talk.
Three months ago my husband and I got a phone call by one of his co workers.(Our daughters are bestfriends) It was the type of phone call you never want to get. Dh's co- worker told me that his step son has sexually assaulted both my sons his stepson is 13 yrs old and has bipolar. He was suppose be supervised 24/7 by his workers. We were never told the boy had a mental illness or anything.  

They are currently seeing a play therapist. Anyway my sons are having a really hard time since things were introduced to them that shouldn't be to any child. They kids are really acting out and we are constantly have to tell them that we don't show our private parts to anyone. Both have become more defiant. Our 5 yr old laughs whenever  we try to disapline him and our 7 yr old  smirks like its a joke. I don't know what to do here. Nothing works and they are become more defiant as the days go by. They have only seen the therapist once because right now its summer break and she is taking courses. I am so frustrated.

[margypops]

Poor you, it sounds like a bad case of sibling rivalry aswell as the abuse factor,How about you keep them apart more, let them play and do their activitys in differant areas and make them stick to that rule,if they wont give them time out ,sit them on a chair seperatly and say to them they must stay there till they stop.I think some counseling is  called for regarding the Abuse,Possibly the 2 boys have some jealousy issues, how does the 7year old behave with the 5 year old, check out quietly the Behavior with each other.As there is a problem keep them away from each other ,Have they got a room each it would give you some peace if they went into their own space. Does Dad get involved with them how about he does some Games and sport with the 7 year old and you read or play games with the 5 year old, one to one with each of them, Get Dad involved and do guy things with them.Good luck I know what a battle it is my Daughters still have sibling Rivalry and trust me they are years older than yours!!!