I think my son has some form of either ADHD or Autism

[mommieoftwo914]

My 4 year old step son is very hyper.  I asked his pediatrician and they will not test him until he starts school this fall.  He also repeats himself all the time.  He never owns up to anything that he has done, even though you catch him.  I also have a 4 year old daughter.  My son is alway saying I want like Kylie which is my daughter.  It can be me fixing her hair.  He wants it too just like hers. He tears his throw pillows up along with paper. He can throw a tantrum as well  If I get his clothes out to wear.  He will take them back then go sit down and then get up to get them. Example this morning I got them up to get dressed.  I grabbed his shoes out of his room and layed them beside him.  He took them back to his room and got dressed and then went back to get them.   Any advise?

[mommieoftwo914]

First let me start off by saying.  I  treat him the same as his sister.  He actually gets more one on one than his sister does.  Its hard to explain in words.  I just know something is not right. He wants everything like her. From hair to food to drinks, shoes, clothes  what ever it is he wants it just like her.  We have tried to talk to him explaining that she is a girl and things are not the same between you.  When we do this the tantrum begins with non stop repeating himself the phrase  "I want it like Kylie".  

[mommieoftwo914]

No ma'am he is not attending pre-k but will this fall.  We try to make everything fair between them as possible.  This morning while getting them ready for day care he wanted to wear his hair like his sisters.  By that I mean she had pony tails and he wanted them.  I tried to explain that girls wear pony tails and boys do not.  He threw a tantrum.  I buckled him in booster seat this morning,  he unbuckles it and said "no I do it".  I just dont' understand why he is constantly saying i want it like Kylie and he repeats it over and over.  I just want to understand what is going through his little mind.  I suppose I will have to wait to get his teachers opinion on it.  I also would like to add that he knows no Personal Boundaries when it comes to your personal space.  He will get right up in a strangers face and impose on them.  His day care provider has had some issues with this as well.  Day care has asked me if he autistic.  Thanks for listening.

[Sandman2]

   The reason your pediatrician won't test him is that something like ADHD must appear in two different settings.  If he is not in preschool, then the testing can not be done - even by a psyc.
   When is his birthday? You may want to rethink him going into K and put him in preschool instead?

[RockRose]

I can't tell what you're saying.  He doesn't really sound unusual to me.  What does "I want like Kyle" mean,  except he wants to be treated as nicely as you treat your daughter?

And what in the world does this quote from your post mean?  I really don't get it:

"Example this morning I got them up to get dressed.  I grabbed his shoes out of his room and layed them beside him.  He took them back to his room and got dressed and then went back to get them.   Any advise?"

[specialmom]

Hi there and welcome.  Well, I'm sure you are really frustrated as I would be.  In the United States, early intervention is provided for our children by law.  Birth to three you are out of so now it is onto the preschool intervention which is run by your local public school system.  Early intervention is super super key to to outcome.  The earlier you start the better.  A wait and see approach to autism?  Never heard of that.  

If you have insurance or can afford it, I'd bypass your doctor and seek an evaluation by a psychologist trained in early childhood development or a developmental pediatrician (these are often affiliated with children's hospitals).  

Now, what you've written isn't really much to go on.  From that, he just sounds a bit difficult.  So, I don't know if your doctor is trying to tell you that but he can at least provide you with information of what symptoms are associated with autism and such.  

Does your son attend preschool now?