Is there HELP out there? I love my 7 yr. old son, but.....

[Scubalady]

I to, am pleading for help. Here's why ~ If Tristen (not real Name) doesn't get what he wants, when he wants it, he screams bloody murder no matter where we are, or who is around. He is usually destructive, argumentative, cussing, always defensive, and refuses to listen. Tristen will take off on his bike and won't return for hours. I don't drive, so I spend hours looking and calling for him. When I take his bike privileges away, he takes off on foot. He has been arrested for breaking and entering, and theft (twice in a 1 week period). He vandalized a neighbors home because another kid dared him. He's constantly getting into trouble at school from, starting fights, being disruptive in class, he's even hit his teacher. He's extremely disrespectful, to whom, makes no difference, unless his father or big brother are present. His father is usually in & out of jail, and rarely comes around to visit. My older kids (ages 23 & 21) are another major problem all together. Definitely not positive roll models. They too, are often disrespectful. His older brother, Timmy, (not real name) still lives at home and is being tested for asperger syndrome. With Tristen, I have tried various methods of punishment and reasoning, in my attempts to straighten him out. For instance, I'll restrict him from friends and, or any pre-planned activities, withhold favorite items, spankings only work for a short time, receives no special snacks or treatment, if I put him bed early, he just stay up anyway. He is not intimidated or afraid of law enforcement. I just don't get it!!! Who ever heard of a 7 yr. old behaving this way? He'll resist and resent whatever is required of him. He gets bored and lonely a lot. Most of his friends parents, won't let their children play with him. I can't blame them for that. I have contacted, Big Brothers Of America, but they aren't in our area. I clean houses for a living and can't afford a disciplinary training school. And yet, despite all of the horrible things that he does, or is, he is not without love or compassion, by any means. It hurts me that I can't find a solution to these problems with Tristen. And if I can't, he could end up like his father. And, C.P.S. is one of my worst fears!!! I realize he needs a structured life, but he won't allow that. And, giving him up, or, giving up on him, is not an option. Please........If you know of anyone, or, anyway to get help for my son, (and I hope that I'm not too late) I would so appreciate whatever help you can offer.  Regretfully and Respectfully ~ Maryann    

[Sandman2]

   Yes, I agree with Mark.  This is definitely way beyond something that you have (or most parents) have the ability to handle.  The school system might be able to provide you with recommendations for help.  

[MarkLakewood3367]

I doesn't sound like you tried mental health treatment.  It is obvious that your son requires mental health counseling ASAP.  His motivation to participate should not be a determining factor.  Therapists are trained to deal with defiant and resistant children.  Also, there are different levels of intensive treatment.  For instance, if he requires more than outpatient treatment, day treatment and residential care are options.

It is best to get him in treatment now while he is young.  It sounds as if your son is breaking laws at a young age and is headed for juvenile detention.  Once involved in the juvenile system, mental health treatment will be ordered.  So, get the ball rolling now before it is too late!