MY SON IS ROTTEN

[Marebears]

i THINK MY SON HAS ADHD. HOW DO U KNOW FOR SURE? ALOT OF HIS ACTIONS TELL ME HE DOES? WHAT R SOME OF THE MAIN KEY SIGNS?? ANY HELP WILL HELP!! THANX MARE~BEAR

[momagain59]

Hyperactivity/Impulsivity

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Hyperactivity
A child may be exhibiting symptoms of Hyperactivity if he or she often:


Fidgets or squirms.
Leaves seat when remaining seated is expected.
Runs or climbs when he or she shouldn't.
Has difficulty with quiet leisure activities.
Is on the go, as if driven by a motor.
Talks excessively.

Impulsivity
A child may be exhibiting symptoms of Impulsivity if he or she often:


Blurts out answers before questions have been completed.
Has difficulty waiting his or her turn.
Interrupts or intrudes on others.
Because all children behave in these ways at times, only a professional can diagnose a child with ADHD.

I copied this off of ADHD.com. I hope this is helpful. You sound like a strong, honest, person that is on the right track. Keep your head up, after all that is where God is.

[tiredbuthappy]

funny, i thought i was participating in a question/answer session. unless a person gives details about the child and the family's situation, it is impossible to give insight, advice, or support. the way you reposted the question today provides much more helpful information. hopefully that will enable someone to provide you with what you are seeking. i will no longer reply, as i see clearly that you do not want anything but a fight from me. good luck, and i hope you get the information you need to help your son.

[Marebears]

I AM SORRY I THOUGHT THIS WAS A DISCUSSION{QUESTION AND ANSWER}  4 CHILDREN WITH BEHAVIOR PROBLEMS. ITS ABOUT OUR CHILDREN AND FINDING OUT YOUR NOT ALONE AND GETTING ADVICE ON HANDLING IT. NOT A BACK GROUND CHECK.

[tiredbuthappy]

i'm sorry to you took my response in that way. i would suggest you not post something like that- with such a harsh title and with so little detail. Obviously withthe lack of responses noone else was willing to touch it.

that aside, i do feel you misinterpreted what i said. i never implied that YOU were causing any of the problems. I simply stated that when there is illness in a family, it can affect a child. By illness i refer to both cancer and addiction. i have never been addicted, but watched some people close to me struggle. People think they shield their children, but children still sense something is wrong. In fact, I see it happen to even preschoolers. They are often completely sheltered from problems like that, yet somehow always know something is wrong. I can't tell you how many children have started to behave unusally and I ask the parents if everything is OK at home. They are always shocked that we guessed that something was up.

How did i judge you aside from commenting on the word rotten? I commended you for getting everything together. If "rotten" is a pet name, you certainly should have mentioned that. it is not often used in an endearing way, especially when someone is complaining about their child's behavior. i wish you the best in everything. i genuinely do. i do not doubt that you are doing the very best you can for your family. i sense by the way you reacted so drastically that you are very sensitive and defensive about your problem. however, i was very happy to see such wonderful things written about your family.

[Marebears]

oh by the way my husband said "just a thought" you should dig a little deeper before you tell people(bi-polar manic depressive)that its their fault that their child has mental problems or talk down to someone who has spent 3 yrs of their life in a secret hell and go to groups every other day for 2yrs to be a better parent and a better person, and someone who has worked their fingers to the bone to correct the wrongs in their life and finally is happy where they are at this point. it does'nt take much to push someone in this postion over the edge and like my sister in law take their life. if you dont know the whole story (not a couple of sentences) and cant say something nice please say nothing at all! its rude to judge someone you dont know. some people think breast feeding after a couple months is wrong. i think its a choice a mother makes for the well being of their child. i could care less how people judge me but in the beginning of my recovery i would have taken that to heart, & not well i might add. just please becareful what u say to some people that are struggling with a past addiction.i asked for someone to help answer a very serious question because i care about my babies and dont want them on med.'s everyday.i did not ask for someone to judge my life, myself as a parent or a person. please dont judge others thats not nice! who r u to judge anyway???????

[Marebears]

i didnt mean he was bad by saying rotten, his grandma calls him the apple of her eye and he is rotten to the core. it really does'nt mean he is a bad. through all of what we have gone through my kids even my 14 year old knew nothing. he does now but thats because we told him. my kids have had the best of their lives and the shelter was never lifted from their heads. we always worked, lived in the same home till just recently and they all attend a gifted school. one of the biggest problems is that people think people who got addicted to a script of pain med. end up homeless, dragging their kids from place to place, broke, cps takes them away or gets envolved and dont take care of them.in all honesty our children are very well off. and we dont do it cause of the problems we had. its just because we love them and wouldnt trade any thing off for the world. i went to a specialist and he told us he has autisum. not by any fault of ours.(i didnt even smoke while preg. with my 1st 3 children. it along with bi~polar and adhd runs high in our family.the one thing our children never went without was love. no matter how bad we felt sometimes we always took very good care of them,said our prayers and knew we didnt deserve what happened to us. but on the flip side it has made us a stronger family, stronger people and less careless of a person. when you get hooked on something a dr. you trust gives you its a pretty scary thing. i hope you read the lables on your perscription bottles that you get from your dr. you wouldnt believe what could happen in the blink of an eye.(thats no joke) Very sorry you misunderstood that comment.he loves being grandma's rotten apple, the same thing my mother called me.and it didnt ruin my life or hurt me in any way. my friend calls her daughter stinky butt and she is 13 now and takes a bath every day. calling a child a pet name will not dictate how they act. it happens when u put them down or call them stupid or an idiot. thats the stuff that hurts. we dont do that!!!!! oh he has been in counceling for 2 years now. we all have just to be sure that everything is ok. he is the one who brought up adhd in the 1st place. a 10 sentance paragraph doesnt tell the entire life of our family. next time p~mail me i would make it a point to explain things to you. Thats some of the parents who hit a rough spot in lifes problem. people r very fast to judge! please try not to do that. we are not all bad people you know!!

[tiredbuthappy]

oh- by the way, the first glaring thing i saw was the title to your post- "my son is rotten." by labeling him as such, you are dictating how he will behave. i pray he never hears you make comments like that. i understand you are frustrated, but it demonstrates how you may be looking at the situation wrong. you are focusing on his behaviors instead of the cause of his behaviors.

[tiredbuthappy]

no offense, but looking at your profile and entries, i see there is some turmoil in your history/life. how old is the boy? i don't know anything about your son or his actions. but reading that snippet about your life, i am not surprised at all that one of your children has behavioral issues. i think it is phenomenal that you are getting your life in order, but that is a lot for a child to deal with. you also mention battling cancer- again a tremendous thing for a child to deal with. i would look for positive outlets for his energies, and possibly counceling before looking for an ADHD diagnosis.

if you would like to be more specific about some of his behaviors, perhaps someone here can give more specific advise on things you can try to help him.