Middle Aged Child Temper Tantrums - stress related

[Mamaduck6]

My son who is 8 years, 6 mos is a type 1 diabetic since age 2.  He is my oldest, (others are 6, 5 and 18 mos) and is very controlling, bossy, and moody.  When he feeling stress - such as during the end of the summer when school's beginning is looming, he becomes quick to tantrum, throwing things, hitting siblings, displaying extreme irrationality.  Mostly stemming from his desire to control what his siblings are doing.  As they have gotten older, they have recently started teasing him back a little when he starts in ("I know you are but what am I" when he says something not nice to them, even if that retort doesnt make sense). Naturally this fans the flames.  What we do when these behaviors emerge is remind him of the rules he is breaking in simplistic terms, since he is sort of out of orbit when he is acting this way "We do not hit.  If you hit you must  sit in timeout."  We put him in time out - which 70 percent of the time, works to arrest the tantrum - but if he is really out of his mind, he wont go.  Then we give him to the count of three to choose to go sit.  If that doesnt work, we put him in his room.  When the tantrum ends, he is usually in tears.  He words during the tantrum are so prickly and angry - that its easy to forget that he is tantrumming because he is hurting inside, but the teary episode afterwards usually reveal what was bugging him.  How can I help him to verbalize and seek help BEFORE he gets to the point of throwing things, yelling, hitting? His blood sugar DOES affect his moods, but sometimes his lack of control occurs at times when his blood sugar is perfectly fine.  Also, during times when we are in a routine where he knows what to expect and there is nothing new looming on the horizon, he has made enormous improvements in his self control.  Thanks so much!

[Sandman2]

     Another thought is that he is the "big boy" in the house.  With an 18 month, a 6 and a 5 year old - I am pretty sure that he is the last on the totem pole when it comes to attention.  Combine that with his Diabetics and all that is involved with that, I think that would lead to a certain moodiness.  Not your fault.  But I think all of the above does make a difference.  Besides all of the things that blood sugar will do, I also think that some of this is just not knowing how to handle frustration and probably not getting as much parent time as he wishes.  So I would work at trying to involve him more.
    Also,  Also, kids do need to be taught how to handle their anger, frustration, etc.  There are a couple sets of books aimed at this age group.  One is, " How to Take the Grrrr Out of Anger" (Laugh And Learn). That and several more are found here - http://www.amazon.com/Take-Grrrr-Anger-Laugh-Learn/dp/1575421178/ref=pd_sim_b_7
          Another good set is the," Don't Rant and Rave on Wednesdays!" The Children's Anger-Control Book. That and others in the set are found here - http://www.amazon.com/Dont-Rant-Rave-Wednesdays-Anger-Control/dp/0933849540/ref=pd_sim_b_1  
         The "Don't rant and rave" is probably more age appropriate.
      And by the way, isn't it amazing how quickly even the little kids can pick up on how to bug the older ones.  There is also a great series of books aimed at them.  And they are certainly part of the problem.  The series can be found here.  http://www.amazon.com/Words-Hurting-Ages-Best-Behavior/dp/1575421569/ref=pd_sim_b_1
       Point being, it's not all just him - ya gotta deal with the whole crowd and somehow share time equally.  

[margypops]

I agree with you when you say that the blood sugar level will affect his moods and this is what I would address with the doctor, you say he has made big improvements with his control so it may be an adjustment of insulin is needed. I think you handle it correctly and it may be a good idea to seperate him from the siblings before it gets out of control.He probably doesnt always feel good especially if the sugar level gets out of whack .

[ohcalcutagirl]

hi, I notice u did not speak to his diabetes AT THE MOMENT, one thing that should alarm a parent is aberrant behavior TO IMMEDIATELY TEST HIS BLOOD SUGAR.
. . as to other problems; ask dr if he could benefit from a ADD OR ADHD drug. now technically they are stimulants and make seem counter intuitive but for some diabetic kids they make a huge difference.
. . good luck