My 3 yr old worries too much

[Barqs]

I have a beautiful 3 yr old daughter that seems to worry too much, I mean wayyyy too much. I dont think this is a normal behavior for a 3 yr old and I don't know what to do about it. I also feel like she is too mature and too smart for her age. Her teacher would tell us that she memories a song /story after only hearing it once or twice while all other kids takes them a good week. She knows numbers 1 – 20, her ABC’s in a class that can barely count to 10.  

Some examples of her worries:

- At school she always breaks down crying telling her teacher that she's worried her mom wont pick her up
- She's worries all day on Wednesdays cause it's swimming day, Friday night and Saturdays morning cause it's skating day
- She goes to sleep crying that she doesn't want to go to school the second day
- When putting her to sleep, she reflects on all the bad things that happened to her that day and usually cry bout them
- When telling her that we're going somewhere, she needs reassurance that we're going to be with her and not just drop her off and leave
- She wakes up pretending that she is sick (fake coughs) cause she heard the teacher say to another student that if your sick u don’t go to school (remember, she's 3)
- She is scared and shy of everyone. When someone visits or we visit someone, she's always really quite and stuck to her mom.
- She once cried all afternoon cause her teacher said that the second day it will be raining, so they would go to the gym instead of the playground. She was worried bout it throughout the night cause she doesn’t want to go to the gym
- She holds grudges about the littlest things, and once you made a bad expression, the time she’s spending with you is really stressful times.
- She will never wear skirts cause she worries she wont know how to go to the bathroom.
…..the list can go on and on and on

I know her mom smothers her too much and I told her that there will be some negative consequences. Our daughter was sleeping with us in our room until she was 2 and a half. Even now she doesn’t sleep on her own, she will always need her mom or I to sleep beside her until she falls asleep.
When we’re around, she interacts with kids, plays and has fun like a normal child. But her teacher is really worried about her and so am I. I would like to take her to a psychologist, but it crushes my wife when I say that saying that it’s just a personality thing.

Any suggestions on how to help her just be a happy little child will be greatly appreciated. It kills me to see her acting like an adult when she's only 3.

[Barqs]

Thanks for the tip. I did some reading and I think she would fall under the "Separation Anxiety Disorder" rather than "Generalized Anxiety Disorder". I would say a strong case of SAD since, like I said, if we are around she plays with other kids and interacts like other kids. We sometimes need to ease into playing with kids, but once she kicks it off with them she's good on her own. I still will be pushing to get her checked out cause I would really like to find the root cause and how to help. It's sad to see a 3 yr old kid think like an adult.

[jdtm]

You have described GAD - Generalized Anxiety Disorder.  That is not to say your daughter suffers from this mental health issue; but it is a strong possiblity.  I might suggest you google the phrase "GAD and Children" or "anxiety behaviors in young children" or similar words/phrases.  As always, your first line of defense should be your daughter's pediatrician - then if necessary, a referral would be made to a medical mental health specialist as a child psychiatrist, or child neurologist or child psychologist.  By the way, if GAD is the issue, your daugher inherited this genetic trait at conception and is not a product of life's experience (or parenting practices as you suggested).

If anxiety is the issue (and I strongly suspect it is), I  can assure you that your daughter will not outgrow it nor will it go away.  But, anxiety is a very common issue among today's population and highly treatable.  The earlier the diagnosis; the better the prognosis (with intervention and treatment).  I wish you the best ....