My 5yr old wants to kill herself!!

[eve1972]

My 5 yr old daughter has said before that she wanted to kill herself, I didn't put to much into it till tonight. Her and her older sister who is 11, was arguing and my 5yr old took a towel and placed it over her face and said she was trying to suffocate herself. Now this has totally freaked me out and i'm at a loss as what i should be doing, I'm very worried in case she may try to do something and really actually hurt herself. She is usually a very happy girl but is a very sensitive girl. I know her older sister winds her up a lot, but seriously try to (or think she's doing) suffocate herself is frightening. I just don't know what I am supposed to do, do I sit down and talk to her and hope everything be ok or should I be getting her some help?

[Sandman2]

      Well, since she is still on the floor pouting - she wasn't really going to choke herself.  Kids try all kinds of things to get your attention.  If you overly respond to them, they will keep doing it.  By the way, in the good old days, kids would say I gonna hold by breath till I die.  And we would go,  "fine", since we knew that it was (essentially, unless they knew how to hyperventilate and were under water) impossible
     Keep your response the same.  Don't show alarm.  Talk with her about it afterwards. They will learn that pouting doesn't work and (unfortunately probably) will then try something else. Ya, wait till they are 14.   That is one reason why consistency is so important now.   I would suggest you buy the book "Love and logic"  by Fay and Cline.  It will help.
     It also helps to give kids the words to express themselves so they don't have to go through the drama.  You might want to buy some of the "Way I feel books" which are meant to be read to the 4-7 year olds.  Check it out here - http://www.amazon.com/When-Feel-Angry-Way-Books/dp/0807588970/ref=pd_sim_b_5
   Hope this helps.  

[seaangel]

My 5 year old daughter has always been a happy child..Every once in a while she will have a little tantrum but nothing too bad. Until today.. I asked her to try on something i bought for her and she didn't want to, well she was playing a game on my tablet and i told her she could play on it after i tried the dress on her to make sure it fit. Well she has a princess balloon tied on the back of her chair, she wrapped the string around her neck and said she was going to choke herself.. It scared me so bad, she was really pulling on it!! That was like 30 mins ago and she is still on the floor pouting..She is in kindergarten, i know she must be tired from getting up so early, she is getting a good amount of sleep everynite. I don't think her being really tired could make her feel and act this way.. It has really scared me, What should i do about this?

[eve1972]

Thank you both, you are both right and spot on. My younger girl only says such things when shes angry and upset and usually because of her elder sister. Her sister for some reason has an issue with her younger sister, I'm not sure what or why as yet but i will eventually get to the bottom of it all and hopefully an end to this madness lol. Again a huge thank-you to both for your replies.

[margypops]

You said 'I know the older one winds her up' That is where you start I have seen this many times, when the older sibling is the one who should be talked to about being kind and helpful towards the younger child, very often they can be mean as they are jealous of the younger child and sibling rivalry begins, I have 3 daughters , grown ...they still suffer form sibling rivalry . The older child need some extra attention as she is feeling left out but you have to protect the younger child aswell, so be aware and set some rules of behavior . Good Luck

[specialmom]

I would start by sitting down and talking to her.  The first thing I thought of when I read the opening of your post was----  I bet she is around older kids.  And since she it, she's picked up the phrase.  The acting out with a towel how she would do it is disconcerting, I'm sure.  But depression is a diagnosis that requires certain criteria being met.  I wouldn't be worried about that.  I would talk to her (and maybe your older daughter too) about what she was thinking when she said that.  If situations persist, then I would consult a counselor/psychotherapist.  But I would at least start with her in discussing it.  She may have wanted to just express how very upset she was.  I know I'd just fall apart if someone said something like that to me and then actually did it-----  but my gut says that isn't the case here.  Talk to her.  Good luck.