my 8 yr old cries when we leave her

[lewilj]

Since the summer, after her yearly one wk stay at her grandparents' cottage, my 8 yr old daughter is emotional when we leave her. Whether it's a sitter at home, or even when my husband left for 2 nights. It's concerning as she is getting older. She questions a simple trip to the grocery store. "will you come back?"  " how long will it take?" She has no problems going to school and staying in their after school program. Incidently, she is an only child. It's distressing. She cries and cannot explain why. just simply saying I miss you or dad. She can't do the neighborhood sleep overs either.

I'd like to help her but not sure how.

[margypops]

Sounds like a phase, how does she do at school? is there any problem there, maybe try to not feed into it, let it go and see if it goes away could be she is getting extra attention if you are concerned about her, sometimes children ahve times and phases of seperation anxiety. Make less of it and see what happens.

[lewilj]

well, she enjoyed it in the past. but this yr's wk visit didn't go over well for either her nor her grandparents. I think she was homesick and they handled it poorly using the skillsets they used when raising their 3 boys 30-45 yrs ago.  she now requires a lot of reassurance. Has difficulty hanging with the neighbor/kids for 40 min, can't do sleep overs with friends, has trouble with a sitter in the house, and recently was distraught when her father went away for the wknd to visit his grandfather. Very teary, says she misses us or the one who is away the odd time. we recently hosted Xmas and she was fine with the extended family incl her grandparents.

thanks for your reply.

[margypops]

Does she enjoy her weeks visit with her grand parents? what is she like when it is time for her to go, if she is suffering from some anxiety and doesnt want to go thre perhaps they could come to you and then she wouldnt miss you as it seems to be causing her a problem