How to get her 11 year old daughter to like me again

[Miserablegj]

I had been dating a woman for about 1 yr.  In the beginning she didn't want anything serious, we dated for about 7 months and she broke up with me.  During that 7 months her 11 year old daughter really like me.  She even was upset with her mother for breaking up with me.  About a month later we got back together and her mother fell in love with me.  From that point forward the daughter hated me.  We tried limiting our time around her daughter, but it finaly became to much for my girl friend and she broke up with me.  We both know it is just jealousy, but she was acting out an not eating.  It was affecting her health.  We have been broke up for a couple months now, but both still love each other.  her daughter went from liking me to hating me overnight!  How can I get her to like me again?  Or at least not hate me?  I still don't have much contact with her mother because of it.

[adgal]

I have to also wonder if the daughter is not afraid to like you again, given that in her world, you were in her life then gone.  She may be scared to invest in you emotionally again.  I will be honest with you.  When it comes to relationships with people with children, I just don't think kids should be introduced any more then in a casual manner (ie: this is mommies friend) unless the couple knows there is a serious commitment there.  Kids don't understand breaks ups, etc.  So just not a believer in allowing anyone to get to involved in a kids life unless it's going to be permanent.  I don't mean that as a slam towards you or the mother at all, it's just my personal belief.  For now, I would keep your involvement in her daughters life casual.  No overnight visits or anything like that.  Not a part of the family so to speak.  As Margy said, just give her time and space and let things happen gradually and naturally.

[margypops]

Play it down ...you are making too much of it... thats your ego ...so let it go, do not refer to the behavior the more you make of it the more it will become .Take a step back and let the dice fall where they may .....