My son seems depressed

[Caringgamma]

Why would a seven year old boy say he wants to hurt himself and it would be better if he never existed?

[specialmom]

Hi there.  Oh, this makes me sad.  My son said this at that age.  My son has sensory integration disorder.  When I told our occupational therapist this, she was quite alarmed.  I was less so as his mother.  But then it is impossible to be objective with your own child.  We know them best but also can slip into denial.  No, my son wasn't suicidal.  But he was sad.  At least in his case, he was letting me know.  He's now 12 and is my worry in life.  Things are going fantastic for him--  grades and school work are amazing, he's had real growth in his sports, has a small but close friendship group that he worked so hard to achieve, is in band, scouts, etc.  He's an amazingly accomplished kid.  But he lapses into being sad.  And the negative self talk is very hard for me to hear. I try to listen.  I think he's possibly one of those people that will have to be aware as he gets older that depression can happy to generally 'happy, successful' people.  He also has anxiety.  

These things stem from how he has felt as a child growing up with a sensory delay.  He's felt a bit different his whole life.  EVERYTHING he has, he fought tooth and nail for.  To simply sit in class is a chore for him as his nervous system says "run for it".  Nothing will really change that but he self awareness to get help if he needs it.

I wish it weren't that way for him or anyone.  He's a joyful happy boy in so many ways most of the time but has these 'bad moments'.  And that is scary as a parent of a tween.  Soon he will be a full on teenager with all the hormones that go with it and dark, bad moments can be dangerous.  

My suggestion to you is to begin having talks about emotions with him.  I don't think my son was suicidal but I think he was feeling very badly on the inside.  My son and I have been on the same page as I was reading books about being sad, nervous, anxious, etc. at a young age.  He's able to verbalize his feelings to me and we talk about it.  This is really key in parenting a child that maybe has some inner thoughts that are sad in nature.  

Any other details you want to share with us so we can try to help?  

[RockRose]

I agree with Sandman,  and have a friend whose son did this when he was your son's age.  Once he took everything off his walls and packed up his toys,  saying that way no one would have to do that when he was dead.  It was terrifying.

He's now in his mid-20's.  He did struggle with depression,  and still does to some extent but he's a successful young man.

Best wishes.

[Sandman2]

           Well, one reason I see a lot in the ADHD forum where I also am the CL is that he is being punished at school or at home for things that he has no control over.   This leads to frustration and anxiety.   He wants to make things better but has no idea how.  Its really sad.
           Of course, there is always the chance he is being bullied at school or even molested.
          How is he doing at school or at home?