My son strange behavour, i need help

[sarahbusfield101]

i am very worried about my 3 and half year old son, hes always been quite sensitve, and doesnt like change, clothes are an issue he goes through stages of only wearing certain types of clothing ie, tops with sleeves no t shirts, or only stripey top, doesnt like the clothes too have tags in them, likes to know whats happening and when every day and all day. wont interact with anyone at nursery other than the one teacher whom he stays with all day, and wont leave her side He say hes different too all the other child, but cant explain why, he needs everything to be the same everyday changes make him upset, has an obsession about loose skin on his fingers, ie wicklows and want the remove as soon as found, this happens several time a day. Again gets upset if not sorted out straight away. if gets muck or water on clothes they most be changed, even if it the smallest amount of water or muck, and gets very upset if not changed, please can anyone give me any advise, so worried.

[specialmom]

Hi there.  What you describe with clothing is very similar to my own son.  He has sensory issues and part of those are what they call tactile sensitivity.  You can google this---- along with sensory processing disorder and get a lot of information.  Basically, the nervous system is over reactive to certain 'touch' things.  Where we can have on a certain article of clothing and be aware for a few seconds that the tag is touching our back, a child with tactile defensiveness can't tune that sensation out.  

My son also had a thing with water when he was 3 and 4 before we understood what was going on.  He would love to play in it but would have an opposite reaction at preschool when it came to washing his hands.  This made him very uncomfortable and if water splashed on his shirt, it could be a meltdown over it.  To this day------ he is now 7------ he talks himself through the sensation of his shirt getting wet.  It legitimately bothers him.  Again, this is part of tactile defensiveness.

When my son was 3, he also was not interacting at preschool much and not with any other kids.  They told me he wandered the room.  He was quite different at home so it was perplexing.  Again, his sensory system was out of sync---  his system would get overwhelmed at preschool and caused this.  

Something that has been really key in helping my son's sensory system stay regulated is what they call "heavy work" in the occupational therapy realm.  This is basically physical activity that works the muscles.  Swimming is an excellent activity-------  I'd sign your son up for some lessons.  Go to parks and get him hanging off of monkey bars (even if it is straight arms for a couple of seconds), climbing up the play structures, jumping, rolling, swinging, running, skipping, etc.  This types of activity have an effect on the nervous system that is calming and organizing.  Even if your child doesn't have any sensory issues, you'll find this beneficial for him.  

At daycare, it is good to give him choices.  Two choices for things such as "do you want to sit at circle time by your friends or would you rather pull up a chair along side?"  If he has some control he is apt to follow through.  Also, for interaction at that age------- ask the teacher's/providers help.  Kids are just coming out of parallel play at that age meaning they play alone but side by side----------  so interaction is just beginning for him.  Any encouragement and practice with it is helpful.  A good thing for two kids to do of this age is to sit on the floor and roll a ball back and forth.  They are engaged without having to be too intense about it.  I'd also set up play dates with kids his age and it would be great if you could find someone from the center he is at.  Get friendly with the other parents at drop off and pick up if that is possible.  Have a play date at a park and stay involved with the kids.  I stood and helped my son during play dates and still do at times even though he is seven.  It helps his general comfort level to practice interacting with kids while I'm there.  

I am wondering how he does with speech and fine motor?

So, if you get a chance, google sensory processing disorder and see what you think.  We've had great luck with our son in overcoming his challenges.  Sometimes a mild issue can be dealt with early and fixed completely.  

good luck!@

[ChristineMP]

He sounds very anxious. I think some counseling might help figure out why he is anxious, give you ways to minimize things that trigger his anxiety, and help him learn some positive coping skills. The earlier this is address, the easier it will be to help him.