my 10 years boy play alone not listen crazy always

[alambd]

hello ! please help me to solve this with my 10 year old boy.
he is now only study at 1 Grade at kindergarten school
his memory is sharp and got about 95% marks in all subject
he always like to play alone, and try to pinch other boys and girls, always asking questions, until he is happy and satisfied.
He wants that others also will pinch him and this makes him happy
never listen to us, what he like to do he do and impossible to change.
some times if he is with good mood he is a nice boy and listen everything but again he forget all the things
and started pinching other boys, disturbed their playes but he do not like to play with others.. only himself.
always like to play one certain computer game, and in the game he like to hit repeatedly until he sees the blood coming out of some..and he always says he will be army personal, so he can fire other people.

In the morning after wakeup he is with much angry and shout with us, if we advise him to eat something. but he always like to eat only what he likes always, never try to change his foods and what he do not like.

i'm really afraid of his attitued, what i can do now for him ?
if he is something problem with his brain, some doctors said might have brain seizures..
please any one give me some suggestion.

Thanks
Alam
***@****

[specialmom]

Hi there.  Well, first, don't feel alone.  Lots of kids have one issue or another to work on.  I have a boy that has something called sensory integration disorder or sensory processing disorder is another name for it.  It involves he nervous system and processing.  Kids can be very smart with this but have issues as well.  Social issues are very common and we experiened a lot of that ourselves with my son.  We did things to try to help him and perhaps you could use some of these ideas.

Social skills don't always come naturally to some kids.  I am thinking that maybe the pinching is because he really DOES want to play with the boys but he doesn't quite know how.  My son had similar behavior.  Kids would be building a structure of blocks and my son would want to join, didn't know how to, and would instead just wreck what the other boys were doing.  It kind of hurt my heart to watch his behavior because I knew what he really wanted was to be one of those boys but just couldn't figure out how.

So, we taught him social skills.  I worked on things at home and then gave him opportunities to practice with peers.  I'd actually act as a playmate and he would ask me if he could join in and play.  I'd have him practice what to do if I said yes, what to do if I said no, etc. so he could have a 'real' world experience as kids can be so unpredictable (they say no sometimes when someone asks to play).  I then worked on personal space.  Does your child have an issue with this???  If so, I have some games that help.  I worked on eye contact.  I worked on dialogue he could have with other kids to get things going.  I made sure he  knew what the average boy his age was into. I watch other kids intently and tried to make sure he was dressed in a way most kids dressed, had the toys most kids liked, etc.  

Then, I set up one on one play dates.  I made them an hour and a half to two hours, I stayed close by, I had a great snack to offer, I had activities to suggest if things went bad, and I guided my son in his social skills when necessary.  I went WAY out of my comfort zone to make these play dates happen.  When he had no friends, I still would ask a boy that was semi friendly over to our house or to meet his mother at a park or something like that.  I also put my boys in activities in which he mixed with other kids.  martial arts is good, soccer, or any type of boys group (we have cub scouts in the United States).  

I would just flat out lose the computer game.  If he is allowed to play it, I'd make it for an hour on Saturdays only.  And then I'd get him outside and playing.  Anything, running a race, rolling down a hill, climbing a play structure, bouncing on a trampoline, playing in a sand box, swimming, riding a scooter, etc.  This directly calms the nervous system and can have a good effect on behavior by doing this.  I'd force him to do it every day but you have to be creative----  don't just say "get ouside and play", take him to a fun park, set up a game in the back yard, think of things ahead of time and make plans.

You can google sensory processing disorder if you think it may be something going on.  good luck

[margypops]

Apologies I meant Bangladesh

[margypops]

thank you for telling us more about your son , your English is wonderful and the way you express your self is really good ., I have friends from Pakistan ..It is possible you may have to be tougher with him,in younger children it would take the form of time outs but at 10 year old I would say removing privileges may work ..so anything he really likes doing, or TV Computer, games...remove them until he understands pinching others is in fact bullying and not permitted .

[alambd]

Thank you so much for your kind reply.
WE are trying our best to make him promise with us (to me and my wife) that he will not do pinching other boys and he must not hit some one and come back home, but he always forget this thing and always make promise with us again with a naughty look.

- Yes the time was given to him was not enough due to need to go to school. we will do it form now on, thanks.

- He only ride cycle some times if he wish, some times he like to play computer game, rest all of the time like to ran away here and there, like to watch other kids are playing and some times take their balls and bats and ran away, a pure disturbing charecter to the other kids, but he like to stand alone.

- If we asked him, why you through sands or hit other kids, he said another day before that boy was hit him and thourh him sands but we know it's not 100% true.

- Yes, het got an elder brother (sibling) yes.
relation with his elder brother is very good, like so friendly, they share same computer and together playes computer games, not pinching his brother and not hit him, but always keep asking his brothers ball and bats are also belongs to him, so why other kids play with that balls and bats, so he wanted to take those balls and bats and he ran away.. He wanted to mean that his brothers everything belongs to him also, not belongs to other kids.

Anyways, he has good feelings for his brother, if we say something strong to his brother, he also start urgument with us.

Recently a doctos prescribes the tab 1/2 of SIZODON 1mg - half an hour before meal, so we started to giving him.. doctor said it will reduce his hyper activities and craziness, let;see.

The big problem is in the food, he is so selective, only he likes to eat beef, chiken, some fish and mutton, not like to eat vegitables and other dishes.
About the fruits, he like to eat apples and mangos only.

Thank you so much once again, pls if you have some more suggestions please let me know, thanks

[margypops]

The pinching could be he wants some attention and gets it that way ,Give him extra time in the morning to eat and get ready I do know children hate being rushed , get up half hour early and let him take his time ., very often that solves the morning anger .Does he play sports and games, very often thats an outlet for any anger feelings he has. Has he siblings ,how does he get on with them ?