Naughty 5 year old.

[charisma_22]

Hi,

I'm looking for some advice on how to deal with my 5 year old. Lately he will do EVERYTHING he is told not to do. He will even do things that I tell the other kids not to do. If I told my oldest "Don't hit that spoon on the counter", the five year old will immediately pick up the spoon and start hitting it on the counter. He will come in and announce that he has thrown the ball over the fence on purpose, knowing this is something he should not do, he even says "I did it on purpose". He will not stay in bed at bedtime, he has taken to breaking all the crayons into little pieces. For instance after finding him breaking all the crayons, I took them all away for 3 days. (this wasn't the first time.) As soon as I gave him back he started breaking the new ones. When I ask him if he did it he says yes. He never lies about his misdeeds, he always admits to them, but he never corrects his behavior no matter the punishment. When I ask him why he does these things he always says: "Oh sorry" or "I don't know". I'm at my wits end with him really, He does things that he specifically knows he should not do. He never throws temper tantrum and he is extremely smart otherwise. He is reading on a third grade level and is doing 3rd grade math. I'm trying to figure out why he behaves naughty, tells me about it, and doesn't seem to learn about the consequences of his actions. Any help or advice would be appreciated.

Thank you

[charisma_22]

Thank you for the responses.

I actually am very good with being consistent with my punishments. I always follow through. I do put him in time out right away as well, and he usually just calmly waits until his time his over.
I will check out that book though.
He is the 3rd of five kids and I do think you guys are on to something about him wanting the attention. We have recently had our fifth baby, he is 6 weeks old and we have a 2 year old who is having a hard time adjusting so the 5 year old is definitely getting lost in the shuffle.

As for how he does in school, he is homeschooled.

Again, thanks for the help, I will get that book and start making sure he and I get some one on one time

[Sandman2]

   Ya, he has found a way to push your buttons to get your attention.  And the trouble with smart kids is that they are really good at it.  
   He doesn't learn from the consequences of his actions because the consequences have to be immediate, consistent, and repeated.  It takes about 3 weeks for a behavioral change to happen.  You change anything during that time and he has won.   For example taking away the crayons didn't effect him at all. He needed to go into an immediate timeout.  If he wanted the crayons back he needed to earn them.  I suggest that you get the book, "SOS Help for Parents," by Lynn Clark.  She will give you a system using timeouts that will work.
   By the way, do you have a younger child?  I have noticed that many times these behaviors do get worse due to the added attention that the new younger child gets.
   One other thought, how is he at school.  If he has trouble handling the consistency of the classroom, then there could be more going on.  However, if he has adopted to the school system - he can do the same with you.  You might also want to talk to his teacher and find out what she has done to work with him.   Best wishes.

[margypops]

It seems as if he is getting attention for the behavior and this is why he is doing these things, Does he get plenty of positive attention, games ,fun, does Dad do stuff with his children , outside games, maybe board games , reading .If children dont think they are getting your attention they will do anything to get it, and negative attention is better than none .Try lessening the punishment and focus on his positive side , praise him when you see him doing something right .Good Luck

[RockRose]

This is a child who wants whatever the punishment is.  You don't say what the consequences are,  but he wants to experience them.  For whatever reason.