Need help with my son PLEASE!

[justme7878]

To start off, I have read article after article and several post from this site. Although I really feel my child doesn’t fit any of the profiles of parents with children issues. My son means so much to me and his mother separated 8 years ago when he was only 20 months old he worshipped me then and does still. He is a very active child plays baseball, football, and basket ball and not just being a proud parent he is one of the greatest players on the teams he plays with. A couple of years ago I had issues with his sportsmanship but that is long over with. Both his mother and I have been remarried for some time now. Here lately my son has been lashing out! He is way out of control and has been crying about what i have no idea. He doesn’t act out at school the teachers love him and often say what a gentleman he is. recently I was told by my ex she had picked him up from school one day and she was confronted by one of the teachers asking how our son was 'she was lost' she had no clue what the teacher was talking about. The teacher had told her that one day our son and some kids were playing basketball at recess and that another kid had attacked our son for no reason and they pulled the boys apart and the other boy got expelled from school "He had a record of violence". Well the school had the cops come and talk to our son that day.  This was all new news to us neither her nor I knew what took place. The teachers were worried about our son because he is "one of the sweetest kids in school” their words not ours. So my ex asked our son about the incident and he balled up and cried and wouldn’t talk about it and got very angry. He acts fine at school but with us he is now distant. I am very concerned about this I love my Children deeply and this is my only son. He and I were very close till after this incident. I don’t know what to do; he is short with his emotions and gets easily upset. Today we were playing PS3 together and I won by 1 point he threw his controller and pleaded he wanted to go to his mothers. Well I took him home and on the way there he told me he hated me. This hurt deeply!!! When we got to his mother’s house he turned to me to say he didn’t want to stay there he wanted to stay with me. We came back home. I asked him why he was so upset and why he was so mad at me, his reply was he didn’t know. Now I know about kids acting out I have three children of my own and watch my exes and my brother’s kids all the time. I have seen it all. My oldest is 15 and I’ve been thru it all I thought. All y children are super well behaved. My oldest had never been spanked or punished she is a straight a student and in sports and cheering. My son was a perfect gentleman up till now? What should I do and what is wrong? I need help I don’t want to lose what took me 10 years with him to build! I have a meeting with the school Monday to discuss my concerns about their non communication with my ex and me about the incident. Ido not know if this was the key factor or just the straw that broke the camels back. Yet i am lost and need some good advise! And not advice about placing my son in boot camp!

Thanks in advance!
Almost Super Dad

[benjimom]

It sounds like he just needs extra support at this time and he may not know how to deawl with his feelings and that's why he is lashing out at you.  How old is he, ten?  I thought maybe he's entering the teen years or close to it....

[Julie359]

I'm not sure why your not able to see what the problem is when you clearing wrote it in your post.  Next to being at home school is the 2nd most important place for a child and so having a happy school envioronment is essential for a child to thrive.  Now you say that after this incident with the boy he has been  lashing out, maybe he is extremely worried about when this other boy comes back to school, how long is he expelled for?  maybe there are other boys within the 'gang' who are giving him a hard time.  If they did not communicate this incident to you goodness knows what other incidents are being overlooked.  Your son doesn't sound by any means in need of a boot camp he sounds as if he is very lonely and scared at the moment.  I think as well as giving the school a harsh talking to regarding communication you need to have another go at talking to ur son and expalining to him that you know he is scared about this other boy and that it is nothing to be ashamed of and you are there for him and always will be, that if he needs to talk to u you will always listen and will help him in any way needed.... He should never have to feel that being a man is all about keeping his chin up and not showing emotions.  Good-luck and hope ur boy comes through it all ok!