New Baby. Regressive behavior? Need a solution!

[newparent]

My husband got custody of his nephew when he was four. We started dating when he was six. We recently moved in together and got married he is now seven- 2ng grade. His nephew has took to me very well and I can tell he loves me, and loves having me around. We are now expecting a new baby boy, i'm 6mos. pregnant. He has been acting up in shcool which is not like him. I also notice him competing with me for my husbands attention. We understand that he was used to it being only him and my husband, and I think my husband is his best friend (as he is the only child in the home). This transition must be hard for him, but his behavior in school is very unacceptable. Besides including him in the pregnancy, we have explained to him how important he is to us, and how we need him now more than ever to be a big brother and help us. Not only do we discipline him when he doesnt behave in school, we also explain to him why he is being disciplined.  HE IS STILL HAVING BEHAVIOR PROBLEMS IN SCHOOL (wont follow directions, gets too excited and cant focus on the task at hand).  WE NEED A "REAL" SOLUTION. NOT JUST WHAT SOUNDS GOOD.

[LRM1021]

Few things:

1. You're right-- he is feeling very insecure and is acting out. Talking with the school counselor and maybe an outside couselor would be a good place to start. Sounds like he needs a forum to be able to express his insecurity and work out his issues.
2. As far as behavior plans, I use a reward system with my son. He earns points for positive behavior, and then gets awards if he earns enough points. He is very motivated by this approach -- he wants awards. Also, when he is behaving or does something good, I tell him about it -- so he hears me telling him how good he is more than what he's done wrong. We do punish him for intentional disobedience-- using time out. But we do that for transgressions at home. Trangressions at school -- the school deals with by taking away recess and also reporting it home to us -- knowing that we record his behavior towards points. That is a key thing-- to make sure that the school and you are working together and on the same page.

I find these things really helped my son.

[LRM1021]

Few things:

1. You're right-- he is feeling very insecure and is acting out. Talking with the school counselor and maybe an outside couselor would be a good place to start. Sounds like he needs a forum to be able to express his insecurity and work out his issues.
2. As far as behavior plans, I use a reward system with my son. He earns points for positive behavior, and then gets awards if he earns enough points. He is very motivated by this approach -- he wants awards. Also, when he is behaving or does something good, I tell him about it -- so he hears me telling him how good he is more than what he's done wrong. We do punish him for intentional disobedience-- using time out. But we do that for transgressions at home. Trangressions at school -- the school deals with by taking away recess and also reporting it home to us -- knowing that we record his behavior towards points. That is a key thing-- to make sure that the school and you are working together and on the same page.

I find these things really helped my son.