4 year old fear of going in potty

[crissy13]

I see many questions around this issue.  My son will not let his pee or poop in the toilit or underware, he only lets it out in a pull up or diaper.  He says he is afraid to let it out without the diaper.  I am torn between 2 solutions.  1. letting it go and leaving him alone until he decides.  2.  just putting him in underware and saying no more diapers.  thinking it will eventually come out.  But when we try that for 1/2 a day.  He holds it until he gets that diaper 1/2 way way through.  He keeps saying he is scared.  We need him potty trained by kindergarten.  What is the best approach.  what success have others had.  I went to a therepist who suggested gradually getting him use to underware a little each day and give rewards if he does go.  So far he just holds it.  HELP!

[margypops]

I guess he can only hold it for so long.

[crissy13]

He goes in the pull up just fine.  He holds his pee and poop when in underware.

[margypops]

I like the therapists approach, talk to him and say what you are going to do, the pullups are enabling him to do it in them. Once he is out of them he will not like to make a mess continually, so it may take a couple of days for him to get it. Mayeb also take a step back and let him get on with controlling his body himself sometimes the more that is made of it the more it becomes. Ignore what is going on give him the pullups in the morning or lay them out with his clothes the night before and say nothing, if there are accidents thats okay, no scolding as that will only make him more anxious, Good Luck..