PLEASE HELP MY 3 YEAR OLD IS OUT OF CONTROL

[stayathomemommyof2]

my son just turned 3. he is totally out of control. he will not mind me at all its his way or no way. we cant go anywhere because he screams runs away from me and refuses to do and act as he is told.I  think its worse in around other ppl like when we go out or in wal mart.i dont know if he dosent comperhend what i am telling him or just dosent care.we have tried time out spanking talking calm yelling nothing works. he has to know the things he does he will get in trouble for i know he knows better but he just dont care. he tries to tell me what he will do and no matter what i do he will not give in i know ppl say u just gotta show him ypur the boss and not let him run over u but it dosent work wether he gets his way or not he will do the same thing the next time for example I have put him in karate he has only been twice but he cant go to class yet because he will not mind they are working with him 1 on 1 anyway today he was doing great and doing everything he was told then suddenly took off across the gym and would not come back and was laughing i ran him down and out him in time out and to told him sit until i told him to get up for running from mommy and not minding me and his teacher while i was trying to talk to the instructer about him he got up ran upstairs would not come back and this happened over and over again until i finally pulled his pants down and gave him a good red booty then sat him back in time out this still did no good he got prob 3 spankings and never did sit in time out and thought the whole thing was so funny i couldnt even talk to the instructer it is really embarising because he acted this way he didnt get his first belt or his karate suit AGAIN and dosent get to start class w the other kids he wans his belt and suit and wants to go with the other kids (he told me and was very disapointed) he also knows all he has to do is mind to get these things but he will not listen i know children will be children and test there parents but he really goes overboard he is so hardheaded and headstrong and will not give in waht do i do!!!!

[Samantha1781]

I feel like you are mirroring my situation!  My son is the same way and he is 3.  Runs away, doesn't listen, acts out, hits me.  Spankings don't work, incentives don't work, time outs don't work either.  It is very frustrating and hard because everyone has an opinion on how I should discipline him too.  It is very hard to be a mom sometimes!

[smiley20804]

I'm having the same problem with my 3 year old son, he doesn't listen, he gets into things he knows he isn't suppose to be in and I spank him, put him in time put and nothing works, he also hits me and his dad and acts out and I don't know what to do, I'm worried about my son and I really hope he grows out of it soon.

[Sandman2]

Do a separate post so that it is not buried in all these others.  List what he does that bothers you and I bet that we can help.

[StressedTwinsmom]

Hello!

I have stumbled across your thread, as I am now a mom two 3 year old twin boys.  One of them is so well behaved and calm, its a joke.  The other, is so wound up, and fresh, almost like he can't help himself.  We can't take him to restaurants, or shopping, and it seems EVERYONE has an opinion on how I should discipline him.

I have found such help in the posts on this site.  I'm wondering how your boy is today?  Did he out-grow these "tough three's" and move on to a calmer, more agreeable child?  That is what people tell me, but it's SO tough when you're living it.

Thank you,
StressedTwinsMom

[stayathomemommyof2]

today has been horable he has tested every bit of patience i have i am trying to stick with it but am so fed up just after 1 day i am trying so hard the karate instructer told me to try and take away everything that matters to him when we got home and give it back little by little as he does good things just something as simple as sitting down and eating super as he was told when he misbehaves take something back what do u think about that i need opionions and any advice i will try anything i am going to try this along with timeouts and other techniques everyone has suggested

[specialmom]

Stayathomemommy, I can hear from your post that you are really trying and that is great.  I will tell you that I have two sons that are 15 months apart.  My oldest boy  has a developmental delay called sensory integration disorder and my second son does not. Both can get wild.  Both can do wacky things.  What I described really has worked from me. Tried and tested and worked.  It is called natural consequences.  So think about what the consequence will be for something.  YOu may not take them grocery shopping or to a restuarant--------  but the gym counts.  Warn him about losing his favorite item and that he will leave immediately if he does X.  I teaches that you mean what you say and that there are consequences and HIS behavior determines what happens.  There is a good book called "love and logic" that talks a lot about natural consequences.

For 3, I'd keep it simple.  If I said use your inside voice----  my boys would not hear all of the words.  Rambunctious boys tend to miss some of the words.  So I'm better off with a simple command (soft voice)  (or say just "whisper").  For little children-------  very simple and quick commands work best.  

Try to always remain patient and I'd try to speak with your husband about keeping things calm at home.  Discipline is for teaching and guiding and not so much for creating fear in my opinion. Real respect comes from teaching and guiding.  It is hard when spouses aren't on the same page.  This happens to a lot of couples-----  so do the best you can with that.

And distracting with JOBS really helps my boys.  So when you need him to comply and be by your side---------  mom's helper is a good idea.  
good luck

[stayathomemommyof2]

also he is VERY BRIGHT and so smart for is age so yes i do agree with u on that as well