My 3 yr old son killed a kitten

[offthehip]

Could someone please give me advice I am beside myself with grief. We have a momma cat who had a litter of kittens and my son likes to check on the kittens. We are a family of animal lovers and never have mistreated or abused any of our animals. My son today was playing with the kittens and one scratched him and as far as I can tell in a fit of rage strangled the kitten and killed it. He then lyed the kitten back on their blanket and ran and stood in front of me with a weird look on his face, I knew something was wrong. As I ran to the kitttens he was holding onto my shirt trying to pull me away from the room and screaming. When I got to the kittens I saw one was limp, I tried to revive her but it was to late. I sent my son to his room while I collected my thoughts on how to handle this. when I began talking to him he would not tell me the truth then finally he came clean. He does not feel bad about killing the cat, he said the kitten scratched him so he held its neck. he knows he killed it and he stills does not feel bad. I am beside myself I do not know how to handle this. Is he to young to understand or  is there something wrong with him? If there is something mentally wrong with him I do not want to make things worse by handling this situation wrong.

[Catdragon]

Obviously, hitting your children who didn't know or couldn't grasp the concept of death was the wrong thing to do. YOU taught her that she'll be punished if she does something bad. She doesn't want to feel that pain. She is more worried that she'll get in trouble than she is worried that she is dong something wrong.

[aoifee_baybee]

i think your step daughter is temperd and needs a good slap (L) im soo sorry about you little kitten that died and i hope for the best with the new ! xxx GUD LUK xxx AND GOD xx  BLESS xx
love,
       aoife x

[lexchlmoo]

i have a similar story.  maybe it will help you?

My 3 year old and 5 year old step daughter go to the bathroom together and that is where  we kept our kitten 6 weeks old or so.  my daughter is a very loving little girl.  she is very motherly and besides spanking her baby dolls win they act up, she's never hit anyone or any animal.  my 2 year old little boy plays rough and aggravates, but she don't hit him.  she want stand up for herself towards him.  she use to be  rough on animals but we've worked on how to hold them right, and to pet them and to take care of them.  she feeds the animals and gives them water, she'll even wash there bowl out.  she likes to baby her brother, so much that he'll pretend to "baby cry"(i call it) for her to attend to him in there pretend play.  my step daughter usually stays with us on the weekends and they usually get along pretty well, and behaves when i'm around.  well, this day i was at work late and they were home alone with my husband.  to make a long story short.  and i'm telling this from what little details i got from the girls.  they went to the bathroom, my step daughter spooked the kitten with the shaver.  my little girl got the toilet brushed and hit it with the bristle end cause it scared her sister, and then my step daughter hit, but with the handle part(she gave no reason for hitting).  then it was just lying there.  they ran to my husband, where my little girl was crying that sister hit the kitten and my step daughter showed no remorse but came to tell that little sister hit the cat.  my husband was really upset and so was i, but my main concern was for the girls.  i'm sorry for the loss of the kitten too, but why would they do this.  after talking to the girls and taking in there reaction to the situation, we decided that my little girl was mostly "pretending" as she does with her dolls when they "misbehave", but my step daughter was old enough to know not to hit the kitten let alone, hit it hard enough to kill it.  it wasn't dead completely, but it died later that night.  we didn't let them forget it.  and they are not allowed to mess with the new kitten.  (we weren't planning on getting anymore animals, but it showed up on our front porch)  and we gave them a whooping and talked to them repeatedly about it.  and still remind them, though it's happened almost 2 months ago.  just to remind them, to never to it again.

my step daughter has shown some more aggressive behavior, such as hitting little sister in the arm, slapping her on the face, biting brother's fingers, and also i've worked with her about caring when she hurts someone such as stepping on toes by accident, to apologize, but she shows little remorse.  she worries more about getting in trouble, than whether she's hurt someone.  i've tried to teach my kids to use there head as well as there heart.  my step daughter lacks in using her heart at times, but i'm still trying, she is a very bright girl and she knows what behavior is acceptable at our house, though sometimes i have to remind her when she comes over.

we looked this behavior up on the internet.  basically, it's a warning sign.  when a child is being exposed to negative and aggressive behavior, like parents fighting in front of them and them watching it or abuse, they tend to show aggressive behavior, usually towards those less defensive than they are, such as animals or smaller children even.  we try not to fight in front of the kids, though it's has happened, but i don't think it's us that is affecting my step daughter.  i think it's her home life with her mom, she has some history of violent tempers.  

or it could be a behavior disorder of some sort, though i really haven't found one to fit it, besides what i mentioned above.  

does that help?