Poopy pants

[Georgiabull35]

My son just turned 9 and is still pooping his pants! He was fully potty trained and started doing this when he was half way trough kindergarten! It started off one time here and there, now it's 3 to 4 times a day! We have made him clean out his own underwear thinking this would help, but it's like he doesn't care! When we tell him to go and clean himself he gets mad and says some off the wall things like "I'm stupid, I wish I was dead..ect.." we have talked to his doctor and he says it's a mental issue, but I'm thinking it's more! What type of doctor do I need to take him to, to see if it's more? Help!

[Sandman2]

   Ya, cleaning out your own underwear is something that might work once or twice, but if the problem still is going on after that - then it is a problem that needs to be addressed.
    Pooping 3 or 4 times a day is unusual.  Do you mean pooping only or also wetting?
I can't believe your doctor would say its a mental issue if he is pooping 3 or 4 times a day.  That is not normal and would indicate either a diet issue or some kind of a medical issue.  It is possible that he has picked up some kind of a bug causing this.  Are his poops runny?  Does he have  any stomach pains?  Does this happen all day long or only after lunch?   Thinking about it, he must be home with you now?  Did this problem happen at school too?  He couldn't be pooping at school 2 or 3 times during the day?
     And your doctor did not recommend any other doctor to see?  I think I would start with an internist.  But, I would also wait just a bit.  School should be over now?  Sometimes, the school bathrooms and teacher discipline (not letting the kids out) can be part of the problem.  If he is still having the same problem after about two weeks at home.  The definitely see a doctor.
    And ya, stop the wash your underwear thing.  Replace it with reminders to go to the bathroom.

[ChristineMP]

If this started in kindergarten and the child is now 9 (3rd grade?) I'm thinking a biological cause such as a virus is unlikely

To me it sounds like a behavioral issue and I would highly recommend taking the child to a counselor.

In deference to the other poster, it couldn't hurt to also have him thoroughly examined by a specialist to rule out any physical causes. Even if it IS physical, at this point there is enough emotional stuff here that counseling could not hurt.

[Georgiabull35]

It's not a virus. This happens at school, home, anywhere! He gets embarrassed when we tell him to go and clean himself! I tell him it's embarassing when he does it and we are out in public. This is definitely an mental or physical issue. We have tried everything and nothing seems to help! I need help on where to take him and get help!

[Georgiabull35]

I agree with you! Thanks!

[margypops]

It does sound behavioral ..he is upset about something , you say he does it at school how do they manage with the issue?Something isnt right,sounds like a cry for help ..

[Sandman2]

       A virus is not a bug.  I was thinking more of the type of thing you pick up from drinking the water in Mexico.  My point is that I don't think that going 3 or 4 times a day is a mental problem (could be wrong).  Most people don't have to go that many times a day.  That's why I asked a few more questions about his poops.  At any rate - yes, go see another doctor.  Probably try an Internist (sp) first.

[Georgiabull35]

We have to make him carry an extra set of clothes with him. Sometimes he just keeps the same clothes on and the other kids pick at him! I tried to tell him if he went to the bathroom like a normal kid he would not have those issues!
Thanks

[ChristineMP]

4 years is a long time for a bug :) If it was something like you get from drinking the water in Mexico, it would have resolved.

It could be a physical thing- inability to control the bowel. The child definitely needs to see a specialist (a pediatric gastroenterologist perhaps?) to determine the cause. Even if a physical cause is located, after 4 years of having this happen, he will also need psychological support and counseling.

Georgiabull35, I don't think blaming him and making him feel more shame is going to help. My feeling is he can't control what is happening so you are punishing him for something he can't help. Until the cause is located, perhaps you could put him in pull ups so that when he has an accident it is easily addressed.

If he CAN control his bowels then giving him so much attention for his accidents is helping to perpetuate the cycle. Minimize the fuss and attention given to the issue and work on figuring out what is causing it.