Princess Attitude

[capecodnana]

3 years ago my husband and I took custody of our 2 grandkids. Brian who is 8 and Brooke is 7, we have been dealing with many different issues with each, but the most difficult is Brooke who constantly sneaks into the food and eats what ever. She has eaten baker's chocolate (unsweetened), opened frozen dinners and ate some of it, she has opened cake mixes and eats the powder substance, not all but a couple tablespoons worth.  I want to lock the cupboards but know this will not fix it. What can we do.


Our 2nd issue with her is the avoidance attitude inin school where she will run out of class, scream, or cause some type of shocking issue. My husband sat in the classroom with her last year for 6 weeks until the school decided to move her to a smaller class setting where she earns stars every 20 min.  She had to do summer school for 1/2 day ands she was fine. I want her to function in a normal classroom not be in a room with 2 or 3 other special needs kids where she knows she is smarter.  She is very strong willed and has to be the center of attention. She constantly tells big tales about things and we correct her if we are around when she does it.  Please let me know if there is something else we can do.  She is currently in counseling, but I do not feel totally confident with her,but not many options here.

[jdtm]

Unfortunately, what you have described is similar to our granddaughter.  She was diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression at six years of age.  What we did not know at the time was that her mother was neglecting/abusing her.  She also ate "weird" foods  and "had" to be the center of attraction (with an attitude). Her mother (our ex-DIL) has been diagnosed with depression, anorexia, OCD but I believe her "main" issue is a personality disorder called Borderline Personality Disorder.  Anxiety, eating issues, and depression are often co-morbid with personality disorders. I'm wondering if your granddaughter is beginning to show the "signs" of a personality disorder.  Medical doctors will not diagnose PD's until adulthood but I strongly believe the "signs" are there from birth.

I might suggest you google the phrase "personality disorders and children" or "personality disorders" to see if any of the descriptions remind you of your grandchild's mother.  At this point there is very little treatment re this issue; however, giant strides are being made in mental health issues today and I am hopeful for our child.  I wish the best for you ....

[RockRose]

nana,  sneaking and eating weird food is a symptom of severe neglect.  You don't say how or why you came to have custody of your grandkids,  but children who have had episodes of extreme neglect do this.  I don't know whether it gets better with time.  

Has her therapist talked to you about Reactive Attachment Disorder?  You may want to google that and see if it fits - there are parent support groups online and in person in many communities,  due to the influx of children recently adopted from Russian and Chinese orphanages who can't function due to severe neglect.

Best wishes.

[Mstammy3b3g]

First get some group or family counseling seconded even when your grand kids you might not what all they have been thru the same rewards systems at school should be set up at home home keep them on a very strick schedule keep charts of there rewards in there rooms for punishment punishment at my house is different because my kids have different personalities one I put in the corner the other I take all electrics out his room and at all times you must stay firm buy very loving let me know if I was able to help and keri your head up with prays