Insecurity

[vetsky]

Hello, I am concerned about my daughter who has had sleeping difficulties since birth. she is now 10 yrs old and is still waking more than a few nights a week saying that she is scared. She saw a sleep specialist and a psychologist for a short while which helped for a short time. (The psychologist didn't think she needed to see her any more) She MUST sleep with quite a few soft toys around her face which also makes her hot but she will not let me remove them. We also have issues with forgetfulness, shyness, telling me she loves me 5 to 20 times a day, overeating and always trying to please people. She is very creative, making lots of strange contraptions, digging holes in the garden to make a stream etc. She is average at school and difficult to communicate with as she does not comprehend things very well. She also has a twin brother who finds her very frustrating at times. Do you think she needs more psychological help or any ideas on how can we change the way we communicate with her.

[margypops]

Thats a wonderful Aussie saying' away with the fairies '

[vetsky]

Thankyou everyone for your feedback, It has given me food for thought. I will have her tonsils checked just to make sure and I will also check out a weighted blanket. She is certainly away with the fairies, maybe it is tiredness or maybe that is just the way she is, I don,t know.

[margypops]

Now theres food for thought ku I know from my children those pesky tonsils do cause a lot of problems, that's worth vetsky checking out ., good post

[ku111]

I know this may sound strange.  I always told the dr's that my baby did not sleep right.  I brought this up so many times and then were sent to psychologists for evaluation.  I finally got so fed up at age 13 I demanded a Neuro consult and sleep study be done.  Well, we found out that he had sleep apnea (Not ADHD, Not hallucinations, Not poor self-esteem etc...).  It was severe and he was psychologically afraid to sleep.  We had his tonsils and adnoids removed and sinus space widened (with ENT surgeon)and he has slept ever since.  I am certainly not saying this is it but it is worth a try.  I did a lot of research back then and it actually is kinda common and sleep problems can cause anxiety, paranoid episodes, lack of concentration etc...  Just a suggestion.  My son was bright and smart just didn't sleep.  Goodluck!

[specialmom]

Hi,  your little one sounds sweet.  We all have our own unique personalities and that is what makes us . . . well, us.  

Do you think SHE is unhappy?  Is she content?  Does she have friends?  Is she showing signs of stress about any of this?  Is she tired during the day from the night waking (which we ALL wake up at night but most roll right over and go back to sleep)??  

If she does seem unhappy or have low self esteem, then I do think that a psychologist is helpful.  And if the psychologist WAS helpful for her night time sleep issues and things seemed "better" when she was seeing the therapist, then starting again seems like a decent idea.  Therapy can't hurt as long as a child sees it in the right light (an outlet to help them have someone to talk to and get ideas from verses "I'm weird").  I think it would be essential if she shows signs of stress from what you describe above.  She doesn't have a disorder or mental health issue but is a bit quirky.  People see therapists for a lot of reasons-----  and to prevent things like low self esteem from being 'different' or having to 'struggle' in school academically due to comprehension problems (tough on a kid in this success driven society) are valid for having her talk to someone.  Not essential------  but never hurts and can help.  Our school counselor is a big fan of things like 'small' groups for kids as well.  Does her school have anything like that?  

Anyway, we are all just different and have our own set of 'things' that make us that way.  Which part are you most troubled by and when you say change your communication with her, which part are you wanting to change.  Do you feel she may have a bit of anxiety?

Oh, have you ever heard of a weighted blanket?  She might like something like and that could be something kids use to sleep better,.  goodluck

[margypops]

I dont most of what you have described sounds like normal childs play , stuffed animals are around a lot of children my kids always had them in bed , , how does she get on with her twin maybe she is compensating if he gets extra attention that is positive .I know with twins there is always one who is shy and more reticent .and one who demands .Could anything have made her scared at night, any scary movies on TV or the Computer ..?