4 yr old chronic headace and uncontrolable crying help!

[uthessa]

I have a very well behaved and smart son turning 4 in just under a month. We have a problem that he has these "meltdowns" for no reaason, anytime day or night and they last anywhere from a few minutes to hours on end.  We go through the 500 million questions, "are you hurt? Did someone hurt you? are you scared? what is wrong? what can mommy or daddy do to help? are you hungry? are you sleepy?.....etc" and his answers are always no or i don't know. Then he has these headaches out of the blue.  Those appear to show up when he wants to do what he wants, or is in a little bit of trouble, or at the beginning of these meltdowns.  He has had a CT scan and it showed everything was ok for the scan of his brain, so he shouldnt be having "headaches".  He's smart and at this age they are mimics. I know this and I believe he's seen me holding the base of my head where I get my migraines.  I have chronic migrains, and wonder if he's mimicing the one time he saw me do this because he always points to the back of his head daying it hurts.  I am at my wits end and dont know what else to do for these meltdowns and these headaches.  I really really really could use some good advice or tools to get him through this stage. Thanks in advance!

[AnnieBrooke]

Unless you are absolutely certain he is faking, I wouldn't reject the possibility that he is having headaches ... it's not like a headache appears on a CT scan.  (It's kind of surprising to me that a migraine sufferer would say "He has had a CT scan and it showed everything was OK for the scan of his brain, so he shouldn't be having 'headaches.')  For example, tightened neck muscles can cause problems that manifest as headaches.  My nephew suffered sudden headaches for years until he was prescribed muscle relaxers for his neck muscles.  I'd keep trying various remedies for the headaches until you are convinced that they are being faked.  

[margypops]

ahah so he gets a lot of attention from you when he has 'meltdowns' try being nonchalant ,not so concerned , see what happens ,Has he had any changes in routine , new sibling new teachers, new home ? sometimes changes can also upset them and they act out.Dont feed into the meltdowns , in fact let him have one , don't fight him over it, its a bit like us venting, we all do it.Good luck they are wonderful though aren't they LOl