how can I control my 8 year-old daughter attitude against others and my self?

[Jessicaro63]

I have a eight year-old daughter and lately she is being having an attitude with her babysitter,  when she is told to do something she won't do it. She would not listed, so when she knows she has to do it when the babysitter won't stay off her case my daughter stares at her keeping eye contact showing that she is angry and starts yelling things like "your not my mother and u can't be telling me what to do" the she shuts the door on her face. I was able to control her before by saying ur in trouble and thats all I had to say. Now its like I say the thing they go in one ear and go out the other. When she's mad she takes it out on her 4yearly old brother or even on her self or breaking things. I just don't know what else to do


This discussion is related to My 8 year old daughter is out of control.

[32tink]

I was having the same issue with my daughter. My problem was too many people spoiling her weekly. So I took control of the situation by behavior modification: I changed my behavior (relying on people to watch her) and implemented rewards for good behavior take away for bad. By spending more time with her (taking her to work with me) and giving consistency in life with me and no one else interjecting. Following through with realistic consequences and rewarding for good behavior. She is no longer the monster she was with others trying to raise her and me being allowed to mother my child by taking control of her and the outside influences i.e. Aunt and grandma. Always reinforce your love after reprimanding and include child in on consequences and reward program (have them help with making up rules). Good luck rember follow through with everything you say make sure it is age appropriet consequences and reinforce good behavior and positive affermations. That is what has helped me and my daughter Rebond and curbed her bad behavior.  Last year she was getting kicked out of elementary school and re-strained physically and this year she loves school she doesn't want to miss school she's getting A's and B's and has dyslexia and our relationships never been better at extra time and attention that I'm giving her  has made a world of difference .

[Pattyb88]

I'm having the same problems with my daughter only it's with not a sitter it's me and her little sister and she's also been lying alot and she knows better she screams at me threatens to hit me doesn't listen to anything and I've spanked grounded and took toys tablets TV quit letting her go to mamaws but nothing works she gets worse everyday and I don't know what else to do she has a apt to try child therapy but I'm not sure if I am doing the right thing please help

[Sandman2]

The first question is always - is she having the same problems at school or only at home?
   Without knowing more, I would suggest that you buy, "SOS Help for Parents," by Lynn Clark.  It will really help.

[Sandman2]

   Yep, Mark is right.  Just saying that, "ur in trouble" is not going to work anymore.  Let us know what you are doing and we can show you how to do it better.
   I also wonder how long the baby sitter is in contact with her.  Is this a daily after school care situation?

[MarkLakewood3367]

First off, I would not have anyone babysit a child who is defiant towards him/her.  This would place the sitter in a very bad and dangerous situation as his/her job is not or should never be to discipline the child.  The discipline needs to be the sole job and responsibility of the parent.  If the child misbehaviors for the sitter, the sitter needs to report this behavior to the parent and the parent needs to discipline the child.  Once the child respects the parent as an authority figure, in theory the child will come to respect all authority figures making babysitting possible, practical, and safe.

Secondly, your post mentions nothing regarding discipline imposed.  It is obvious that your child, like all kids, requires firm structure, limit setting, and discipline.  If you would like help with discipline, please detail for me what you are currently doing and we will go from there.

[AnnieBrooke]

Is she getting any exercise?  It would make the endorphins flow and perhaps she would not be so mad.

[walkfasterr]

Have you trying spanking her?