Should my daughter repeat Grade 3?

[kelly2202]

I went and saw my daughters teacher today to discuss the report we recieved at the end of last term.  I knew what was coming, based on the report (I am a teacher at her school) I just knew what was coming.  Her report shocked me to tears when I read it, not that her teacher hadn't warned us that she was struggling but just reading it in words was devastating.  It has been recommended that she repeat as she is just not coping in the class.  She is currently the youngest in her class and most of her firends are 11 months older than her.  Her work pace is slow and all her major skills are lagging behind her peers.  I have also noticed her behaiviour is beginning to become one of 'class clown' - **** silly things to cover up when she doesn't know what to do.  She is a sweet little girl who is immensely popular in her grade, my phone rings constantly for play dates, but I do recognise that she is floundering at school and that the recommendation is probably the correct one.  HOWEVER, I worry about telling her she has to repeat, willl it kill her social confidence?  Will this be something that she will carry as a burden forever, feeling that she has failed??  HOw do I turn this into a positive event rather than a shattering one??  I have considered looking for a job at a new school so we can start next year in an environment where no one knows, but am also concerned that by doing that I merely show her that this is something to be ashamed of and to run from......... The main reason to hold her back is that she is just not as mature as her peers, that she is not reaching her potentrial as a result of academic ability but rather emotional maturity.  She has a little brother who is currently in Grade 1.  I am terrified of making the wrong decision as i recognise that it is a life changing one (positive or negative??)   HELP!!!!

[treazzure007]

I think that every solution you have considered thus far is exactly the right thing, assuming that you've also decided on her repeating the grade.  Also, I agree that her beginning to mimic a class clown could be directly linked with her not knowing what to do.  It's actually an advantage that she is younger than her other peers so that this isnt necessarily contributing to putting her too far behind by repeating.  Id be against it if it were putting my child in a situation to be graduating high school at 19 or 20, see?

When you do tell her about her repeating the grade, simplify it in terms such as "We've decided that you repeat this grade so that we know for sure that you are covering and understanding all of the information that you need."  Dont go in depth with her because if you were to start to point out what she didnt do well in, she could develop some insecurity and anxiety issues.

As for your feelings, approach this upcoming school year enthusiastically, readily, and wholeheartedly.  Remember, if she sees or hears your concerns that you are sad or disappointed about this, she will be too.  If you consider it as labeling her as a failure, that's how she'll feel about it as well.

As far as changing schools, I dont feel its necessary considering the grade level.  I have childhood friends that repeated early grades and they honestly can hardly remember what grade it was that was repeated.  Its actually that older grades (5, 6 and so on) where the children and peers may take notice.

[musicmama]

As a teacher and a parent I understand completely what you are going through.  Third grade is the hardest elementary grade.  Students are all of a sudden expected to do so much!  I have seen many students repeat the third grade and excell years later.  If she knows that the work won't be as hard because it is something she has seen before, and if she knows that she is not ready for 4th grade, it might be a bit easier.  I would also remind her that students that are a little older than the others have an advantage academically.  If she is social and has a good self esteem, she will flourish.

Good luck and God Bless.