Silly behaviour in 7 year old girl

[custardhead]

Hello my little girl is 7 years old.  She is bright, compassionate, funny and great company.  She has always had lots of friends until Sept 07 when we moved her to a new schools where there were only 3 girls in her year group.  She felt excluded and became very unhappy and moody.  We noticed that she became extremely excited in social situation to the point of extreme silliness to try and get everyones attention. Eventually we moved her to another school where she is much happier.  However, she still complains that some of the other girls are mean to her an think she is "wierd".  I think this is because she still tends to behave quite silly in order to get a laugh.  Unfortuantely, the other children get bored and annoyed with this after a while.  I have tried to explain that perhaps she be less silly but im not sure how much she listens at school.  The teacher has told me that she is fine at school and is "one of the girls" so maybe Im being over anxious.  It just hurts me when she says that some of the girls are unkind.  

My question is - yes Im getting there!  Is goofy behaviour still common in 7 year olds?  Is she likely to grow out of this?  What can I do to help her?

Many thanks  kathryn

[jdtm]

Another suggestion - goofy behaviour or silliness (as well as control issues) is often a sign of nervousness and/or anxiety.  I suspect this is part of the issue here - your daughter feels uncomfortable in her new environments (and changing friendships).  If anxiety is the issue, when your daughter feels more comfortable and safe at school, most of this silliness should dissipate.  I might suggest you google the phrase "anxiety and silliness" or "silly behavior" or similar words/phrases to read more about this issue.  If anxiety is the issue, then your daughter is not acting this way at school on purpose - her impulsiveness and immaturity are probably more to blame.  In this case, the way to ease this behaviour is to "lessen the anxiety" in which case you should be able to find some "ideas" in your reading.  I wish you the best ...

[custardhead]

Thanks for replying so quickly!  She is an only child but I have lots of friends with children and I have always socialised her well.  This half term we are busy everyday with other families.  I have invited all the children from her class (girls) back one at time and she seems to have fun with them although she always likes to control the activities and finds it hard to share at times.  She has always had lots of activiites out of school but we have cut down recently because she was getting too tired.  She does ballet, violin, football in school hours.  By the time she gets home, eats her tea and does homework there is little time before bed.  

Its reassuring that you think she is not old enough to recognise whether she is achieving her goals - hopefully that will come in time.    

Thanks for taking the time to write to me , kind regards,, Kathryn

[Sally44]

Goofy behaviours is okay at any age.  But it's knowing when to do it and also recognising whether it is achieving your goal or not.  At 7 she won't have the social skills to do that.
Have you invited some of her friends back to her house?  Try to bring them one at a time so that you can see how they play together and how your daughter reacts to them ie. is your daughter the dominant one or is the other child trying to control your daughter and the games they play.  This will help you sus them out.
Also is she involved in any clubs?  If not try to get her enrolled in something she is interested in and is good at so that it boosts her self esteem and she gets to meet other people outside of school as well.
If she is just the most immature in the group, then she will probably catch up later on.  My daughter is 10 and I don't allow her to do some of the things that her friends at school do (eg. going out alone), because she isn't mature enough.
Does she have brothers or sisters?