Overattached 2 year old

[pjc001]

We have a 2 yo boy who we think is overly attached to both my wife and I.  Most days, you cannot leave the room to change the laundry or do anything  else without him starting to cry.  As you can imagine, this is tressing my wife to no end and she has tried putting him in the naughty chair or the crying room but neither seems to have the desired effect.  He sleeps great at night and has no problem in his room alone but wants you around him all day long.  He has been like this for many months now and we felt some small progress had been made but he was recently sick for several days with a stomach flu and now seems to have reverted back worse than ever.  Do you have any advise on this matter?  Some suggest a Social Anxiety problem that needs treatment.  Help!!!

[Agiesmom]

Why not just block the stairs?  And carry him down the stairs with you if you are going downstairs?  And put another gate at the bottom of the stairs to keep him from going back up.

I never used the bathroom or showered alone when my son was 2.  I can imagine it would probably be tough if you need time away from him, but I just never did--I just took him with me everywhere I went and did laundry when he napped or when my husband was home.  Also my son was into everything, so I knew he was safer with me instead of in a room alone (even for a few minutes).

Maybe your wife can do laundry while your son is at daycare.  And regarding daycare, I hope the provider is understanding and willing to give him what he obviously needs without getting frustrated.  I know it's inconvenient when you have other kids to care for, but if she's having a problem with him, maybe she could make him her "helper" and continue to work with him positively.  Maybe you can come up with a plan together.

But I would, under no circumstances, punish him for wanting to be with you.  It's not going to work--and it will likely create more problems.

[pjc001]

Sounds simple doesn't it!  However, when there is a set of stairs involved you have to have the protection in place to keep them safe.  Also, sometimes you like to use the bathroom in private.  If he's busy playing or watching a short show on TV shouldn't you be able to get away with that.  
He goes to Daycare for a couple of half days a week and his care worker complained that he requires full attention or will start to cry and create a fuss if she leaves the room or is dealing with some of the other children.  Its true we are both pretty new at this but this was something that seemed to develop after he passed 18 months or so.

[RockRose]

Okay, well that's simple!  Take the gate down and he won't cry anymore.

You may not have been around many 2 year olds,  but they stand and cry at the gate if mom and dad leave the room most typically.

[pjc001]

He does come along to the gate or to the door but if he can't get any further, he stops and starts to cry.

[RockRose]

I think most two year olds are this way - but instead of crying when a parent leaves the room, they follow so it doesn't seem as obvious that they are anxious about separation.  Hw many times have you heard women joke that they can't even go to the bathroom alone - while they're in there the child is trying to look under the door "mommy when are you coming out",  or knocking or just walking in?

It's kind of unusual that your child just sits and cries rather than walking along with you,  though.  Do you know why he doesn't just get up and come along?