7 year old getting worst

[denise032803]

My 7 year old middle child has problems focusing ,paying attention,easily crying ,She lys so much that she honestly delives her stories I dont know what to do anymore my husband for years tried telling me that there was something wrong with her, but I always looked at her like my baby she will grow out of it but it is getting worst.She was left back in kindergarden becuase she couldn't understand but now she is doing better in school but not with friends or family...help I need some guidance.

[denise032803]

The school wantd her to be evulated by her doctor,but her doctor felt that she was still to young to make any determination at the time 1 years ago,right now  in school she is in a program called intervention where she is being monitored every quarter things are going good in school ,but being that she was left back it seems that she has no friends in her class, she contuines to keep her friends for last year,which is great, .At home I find myself  always watching out for her, it seems that she cant fit in with her brother age 5 and sister age 17, she is always in the middle with them really....my son picks on her all the time never shares he is a hole different story,her sister 17 feels that she is invateding her space so there is a problem to. Me as the mother a always find myself coming to her rescue, Also she suffers night terous since the age of 4 at least 2 times a week,doctor say she will grow out of it I feel it all has to do with everything going on in her life....help me please.

[Sandman2]

   The trouble is that kids don't "grow out" of things.  They can be trained/motivated/educated, etc out of things.  But unless something is done to change their behavioral patterns, they will just continue on their same old way.  
   Some times these behavioral patterns are things that are beyond the child's control.  They are too young for their grade in school and are over their head.  They have something like sensory integration or ADD.  And sometimes, they are just capable of manipulating the people and events around them.  The point being is that if you want change you have to figure out what is going on.  As specialmom says, we need some more information.   Has the school provided any extra or special help for your daughter? Your child's  birthmonth and current grade in school would also be helpful.

[specialmom]

Hi.  Hm.  I have a couple of questions for you.  Has the school done any type of evaluation with your daughter or are they suggesting one?  Is she doing well with her class work but disruptive?  Is she showing focus problems there or is this just at home?

My son has a developmental delay called sensory integration disorder.  It involves the nervous system like add/adhd does but is a little different.  It can be mild to severe in how it affects kids.  I'm not telling you this because I think your daughter has sensory.  You haven't really given enough information for me to come to any conclusions about what might be going on.  But if a child has an issue such as sensory or add/adhd and it is mild and they find ways to cope at school--------  that means their day is just that much harder than it would be for a typical child.  They can be frustrated and cranky when they get home and behavior can suffer.  They hold it together for school but fall apart in their safe place, at home.  Something to think about.  If this is the case, addressing the underlying problem will help that.  

Social problems are a hallmark of sensory integration disorder and many other issues.  I'm very familiar with them (too familiar!).  We've worked really hard to "teach" them to our son.  Yes, we have spoon fed social skills to our oldest child.  There are also social skills classes if you look around for them.  We did one at an occupational therapist office.  It was "pirate" camp-------- my boy loved it. But it was all social skill teachings.  The guidance counselor at your public school can probably help with some ideas of where to find this.  Children's hospitals and child centers also often run them.  Our school also runs "friends" groups.  It is to help kids with difficulty develop friendships.  I think I'd try to set up some play dates and you be very active in them.  You stay close by and help and guide her as the play date unfolds.  Kids of 7 still love to hang out with parents, so her friend will enjoy the attention from you.  

So, let me know any specifics about what is going on at school and at home and I'll see if I can help further.