Teenager Brother May Have Chemical Imbalance?!?

[heavenlysong]

I am helping my mother to raise her two (2) sons aged 16 and 13.  However, the 16-year old has been out of control.  He constantly yells over people when he does not agree with what is being said to him, he punches the walls and is frequently argumentative and confrontational.  Often times, my mother, brother and I do not like to be around him because he say's harmful things and does not like to take instruction from us.  In addition, he likes to control the household and takes advantage of what has been provided to him.  He does not respect rules in the home and often seems to only care about fulfilling his own personal agenda.  The only time he seems to be nice is when he desires for my mum and I to purchase something for him.  While I write this, he is in the room arguing with his younger brother over something so trivial.  The intereresting thing about the 16-year old is that it is always other people, "causing him problems" and that he is always right.  His dad lives in another state, however, he does keep in contact with his father.  I believe there is a history of mental illness on his father's side of the family.  He is constantly complaining and often has brought us all to tears.  I am on the prowl to seek out help for him because I truly believe something is wrong here.     Also, the 16-year old is quite mannerable and intelligent and has dreams to pursue a career in film and to become an entrepreneur.  In addition he is an inventor.  Mum has tried to connect him around leaders who are able to encourage him and they speak to highly of him but little do they know that he often is a terror at home.  I have devoted most of my life to help my mother and am now tired.  At  29, I have forfeited a lot of my own dreams and aspirations.  As a graduate student, I am struggling to stay in school, because I am not in a healthy environment in which I can study in.  However, I want to see the best for my younger brother and was hoping a psychotherapist could recommend a therapist in my area.  I appreciate you taking the time to read this and hope to read your feedback very soon.

Best,

[supermomma531]

Anything can be possible but what about he possibility that he may just be too spoiled and has gotten to know how to get what he wants by treating everyone around him like dirt. You say that he's as mean as anything to everyone until he wants something purchased for him, then he is as sweet as pie. It is well worth trying to get him help while still at this age. What is he gonna do when he gets out into the real world and can't get anything on demand? Throw a tantrum, threaten people, steal, lie, cheat. I'm sorry for being so harsh but your brother is exactly like my little brother. My little brother has been diagnosed as being bi-polar and apparently diagnosed as ADHD when he was a little kid. He was never treated for anything.I feel bad for you to have to put off your life just because. It is very commendable to you to have stayed with your mother to help her raise your brothers. I would suggest to you and to your mother to get him help with a child psychologist or a child psychiatrist. This is where you should start. If they can't help, they will probably sent you to the next best doctor for your situation. Has he always been like this? I kind of agree with jdtm about the personality disorder. It also could be a chemical imbalance. Maybe taking him to see a child neurologist would be a great idea as well. They can do all sorts of testing such a cat scans, mri's, eeg's, etc. He should probably have blood testing done as well to rule out anything that can only be found by doing blood testing. Does he have any learning disabilities? The reason I am asking is because if he does have any sort of issue with something neurological, this could cause a learning disability. For example, my 7.5 yr old has a rare form of epilepsy. But there are all sorts of behavioral issues that come with the epilepsy and side effects of meds and being intellectually disabled. This means that he doesn't learn at the age that he is, he learns at the age of a younger child. Maybe having your brother tested through the school system can rule this out. Or maybe he is a really gifted student who is bored and doesn't know how to cope with this. He obviously needs anger therapy at the least, maybe having someone to talk to. I bet that his dad being in another state has a lot to do with this issue because he probably feels abandoned or forgotten about. I was raised by my mother and never met my father until I was 15 yrs old and I always had a huge grudge against my mom for the longest time because I got teased in school for not having a father in our home. In the long run after knowing him for about a year, I realized that my mom was speaking the truth about him and that he really did deny us as his children. He really was a schmuck. I haven't had contact with him in about 17 yrs. This being my choice this time. He didn't get to choose. Your brothers anger could stem from anything. Counseling of some sort will probably help him in the long run. Maybe family counseling will be the best as well as personal counseling for him and maybe each of you. I hope this can help you out tremendously. Other than that, I don't know what to suggest to you. If you choose to, please keep in touch. I have been in your situation having to help my mother raise her children as well, ever since I was a little girl. I wasn't even old enough to look after myself but this was my life. Now I have 3 beautiful children of my own. I wish I would have been able to go to school. I did go to night school for 4.5 yrs to get my high school degree but have not been past that point. I hope to get to college or university someday. Congratulations goes to you for being able to still go to school as well as still be able to help your mother out. Good Luck.

[jdtm]

Chemical Imbalance?  Maybe.  But, have you considered a personality disorder.  Your posting describes behaviours common to Borderline Personality Disorder.  I might suggest you google this term to see if the symptoms/behaviours listed are similar to those of your brother.  Hope this helps ....