Trouble in Kindergarten???

[pjswoman]

My daughter is in her second week of Kindergarten. She turns 5 on September 17th, so is one of the younger kids in her class. She is precocious, learned to read early (3 years old), talked very early (9 months in word combos) and is very curious. Also, very imaginative and does not nap. I had her enrolled in a Tiny Tots program given through our local recreation center. It was three mornings a week, very loosely structured, mostly social based and I am finding out now that her teacher was using negative discipline techniques and frankly, bullying the children in the classroom, including my daughter. I noticed several less-than-awesome behaviors she seems to have picked up or started in reaction to her experience there. My daughter's Kindergarten teacher says she seems very bright but a little immature for her age and asked me to come and observe yesterday because the previous day she was misbehaving. Her teacher said she was getting  up and exploring the classroom  when it wasn't time to do so, and investigating the pencil sharpener, teacher's desk, classroom computer, etc. When she would tell her to stop, my daughter would ignore her and continue to  do what she wanted. She also asked about my daughter's body movements. Sometimes, when she is excited, she throws her arms out in front of her and does what she calls her "silly dance". She does this only when excited, not when she is nervous or upset, etc. After my observation day, I felt relieved, because my daughter wasn't the only child who was adjusting to the new environment and structure of the classroom. Her teacher and I spoke and devised a short-term visual behavior system where my daughter will get a check-mark for negative behaviors and if she gets four in one day, her behavior slip will have a sad face instead of a happy one. Today she did MUCH better, but the teacher said she may want to have an SST meeting, which she says is just an informal way of documenting our actions and helping my daughter succeed. From what I know, SST meetings are used to evaluate behavioral or academic problems, and are precursors to Special Education evaluations. I am fearful she may try to label my child as having ADHD, Asperger's, or some other type of issue.  At the same time, if there IS an issue, I want to help my daughter. But my instincts as a parent, as a former GATE student and as a person who was labeled as having "above-genius" intelligence as a child (daughter is EXACTLY how I was as a child), I am hesitant to begin a process that seems to only focus on the downsides of a bright and active child. Teacher says she also wants to document her academic proficiencies (high reading level, etc.). Any advice?  

[Sandman2]

I think you have a good point.  All this teacher needs to do is to show a little extra attention to your child and his whole mood should change.  But, you didn't say what the sst is for (i am guessing his attitude about school?).   But, when is his birthday?  If it is in Sept. or even early Nov., It does put him at a disadvantage for most of his school career.

[Cease35]

I feel like we are in the same boat. My 5 year old is in his second month of kindergarten at a brand new school. He is one of the younger 5 year old, but he loves school. He also read early and was placed into learning environments as early as 6 months old. Im a single working mom so i had to put him in licensed facilities. He always starts out with an adjusting issue when changing school or facilities..........but he quickly makes friends and blends well. My son was given a sub when kindergarten began not knowing when a permanent teacher would be hired. It was an older male and he was very care free. Eventually the permanent teacher was hired and was rushed in. She has 20+ years teaching but only a short few with younger kids. She is very firm which my son needs BUT she only shows her aggressive side. She isnt patient and she is always moving/teaching at a quick pace. I am the room parent and am in the classroom often. My son feels uncomfortable and nervous in her class. He doesnt think she likes him and it bothers him to no end. He is now saying he hates school, doesnt want to attend and his brain hurts. I never experienced this before. He loves doing his homework (17 double sided pages) and doing projects in class. But he doesnt feel loved or secure with his teacher. Now she wants to request an sst. i think that is a bad idea. So i booked a meeting with the principal, myself, my dad, my son and the teacher. He doesn't need a behavior label he needs some love. Very strong big bright kid that just needs to feel secure and supported. Ugh

[specialmom]

Hi.  Your first few sentences said a lot.  Your daughter is young.  Some kids are not emotionally developmentally ready for kindergarten even if they academically are.  Our school really stresses that.  When they evaluate for kindergarten (and she would have just barely made our cut off)------- they don't really look at the academic progress of the child but her emotional readiness.

Being dead honest with you, I'd put her back into preschool for another year and try again next year.  

Regarding labels, however, I have a different take on that subject.  I have two sons.  My oldest who is in first grade has sensory integration disorder.  He was diagnosed at 4 due to not being able to function at all in preschool.  We had him evaluated in order to get on the path to 'help' him.  Evaluations are meant to find out why someone is struggling and is the path to getting resourses to resovle it.  Even when it is not academic needs but behavioral.  My son is also quite bright but needs movement breaks to keep focused.  A "label" is not tatooed on your child but simply written in a file to help her teacher and future teachers understand her better.  We did this at 4 and I address it each year with my son's new teachers----------  then he goes on to have a great year because we worked on his issues early on.  His too were primarily behavioral.  

But really, your daughter does sound immature and will have a much better school experience if you wait a year.  Remember, her peers are also seeing her behavior and some of them will be a full year older than her--------  she may start to slide in self esteem areas that are hard to make back up.  You want her to be able to relate to the kids and not be the distraction always getting in trouble.  She'll start to feel that way.  So consider that another year in preschool may do her good.  I hear all the time that kids might get bored. . . .they rarely really do.  School to kids is about the experience much more than reading and they have fun regardless.  Or at least they are suppose to in the early years.  good luck