Unblended family.

Question

What makes a man allow his two useless adult kids steal from his girlfriend? Then he expects me to babysit his thieveing daughter's two kids. When that is done, it's, "Thanks Dad." Then I should want to make coffee for the jailbird son, who, so far, has gotten me for cash out of my purse, out of my coat pockets, off the table($40 that time), $2500 in digital camera gear, my webcam, 10, yes 10 pairs of sunglasses over 6 years, my keys, Chrismas presents from the very back of the bottom of the corner in a closet. Was caught twice red-handed trying to steal from my daughter. His daughter really likes my expensive make-up, this is where she comes to get it. He defends them each and every time and suggests who else took it. The boy has a rap sheet a mile long for stealing cars and stealing from the liquor store and people's homes. He is crippling these two idiots and doesn't even realize it. They will always be this way. It took six years, but finally he has told them they are thieves. I was weary of scrambling to gather any money, the keys, the sunglasses, my purse-anything of value when these two came round. I guess I want to say, "Don't let someone's kids dictate your life. Don't allow it to continue for 6 years like I did. This daughter thing had a baby when she was 20. He was born blind in one eye. She was told it was a genetic thing and not to have more. What does she do? Why she pops out another 2 years later who is totally blind. The 3.5 year old is still in diapers and needs glasses to preserve his one eye, which is not good. He can't have them because his mother wants a new, bigger, better tattoo to add to the15 or so that she already has. She claims to need more piercings, too. I just wanted to give an example of exactly HOW useless we are alking about, here. Why would any man defend these two turbo slugs? Add to this, neither one works. Anybody want to weigh in?

adgal · Answer

Well, these two "turbo slugs" as you so refer to them are his children.  While I agree with you that we do not help our children if we do not allow them to face consequences for their actions, and that he does seem to enable, your attitude is way over the top ignorant.  Our children are our children, and we love them unconditionally.  Perhaps a kinder approach in your conversations with him the issue might help?  Sitting him down and discussing the issues our of concern, not such obvious hatred?  I'm sorry, but "this daughter thing?"  I suspect your approach to the issue may make him feel somewhat defensive.  Just a guess.

specialmom · Answer

I'm wondering why you'd want to stay?  I think if we stay in situations when dating that are like this----  complaining doesn't help.  It is what it is.  You either move on to a guy with a more normal father/adult child life or you plaster a smile on and go with it.  It is what it is.  You DO have a choice.  

good luck