I have two girls one is 4 and other of is 2. Long post sorry.
Let me give you a little background. My Mother in law doesn't care for me. The week before my husband I got married she wrote him a letter telling him she disaproved of me because I am overweight and I am not the ideal barbie doll type she hoped for her son.
So after we got married she would call every other month and never ask how I was doing or mention me at all. She totally treated me like ****. However, once she found out I was pregnant with my oldest she was afraid I would never let her see her grandchild so she did a 180 and started basically sucking up to me. Once she saw her granddaughter at 4 weeks of age she turned right back around. Second daughter was born same thing. My mother in law gives me used gifts for christmas gifts and never talks to me, although she is cordial on the rare occasion she comes to visit.
She loves her granddaughters to pieces and tells them all the things she bought them.
Heres the problem: This has been going on for some time. The telling the girls oh I bought you this cute little outfit, or book or whatever, BUT they never see it. They do get christmas and birthday gifts from her, 2 weeks late each time.
My four year old is started to put two and two together and realizing that my parents stick to there word and come visit her often, we all live in different states, but that her nana is not following through. So She says right in front of my husband that my mom is her favorite grandma, not her nana. It hurts my husbands feelings and depresses him. HE's tried to talk to his mom about it but it does no good. She is huge procrastinator and doesn't care.
What can I do. I can't make the woman treat me better and this has been going on for 9 years, I don't think I care anymore. What I do care about is the fact she is hurting my daughters.